stop.turn.walk

2009-11-25T11:38:00.003+08:00

rebuildinginprogress@OS

shifted!
cos I'm sick of blogger O.o

2009-11-24T13:37:00.000+08:00

Finally done with trigo 2 ws.
shall go to trigo 3 when i'm back.
but for now, bugis!
the holy playground.
lol.

2009-11-23T21:28:00.002+08:00

I'm done with quadratic equations finally.
lol.
left 5 more topics for maths ._.
and many other subjects like physics hcl chem LA.
ahhhh.
used up 6 foolscap papers for quadratic eqn ws O.o

anw today on the mrt back home with jess, suddenly dennis popped up behind us and we were shocked.
lol.
luckily we were not talking bad about East ppl.
LOLLLLLLL no lah we're not so bad.
"gossip is the biggest killer of unity" - MC
which is true.
pastor shirley gave us an example of the game "pass the message".
when it reaches the end of the line, more often than not, the whole message is a totally different story.
same goes for gossip.
pass here pass there then pass wrongly kinda thing.

yup and another one that left a lasting impression on me was the experience of a leader of the Filipino service.
a group of guys that looked like mafias/gangsters came to their service and all the members really didn't know what to do cos they looked so scary and big.
but they still went up and welcomed them, cos in the KOG we musn't judge one another that kinda thing.
made me think and reflect on a lg scale.
are we closing doors to certain ppl in the lg, who we feel are 'different' from the rest?
or perhaps they're like notorious ppl in our level/school or sth?

yeah MC made me think and reflect quite abit.

anyways, current attendance for sentosa patrol outing on 3rd dec is 9!
yay hope the seniors can join us too(:

outreach/invitation lg on thurs yay can eat eat eat :D
haha but that's not the main point lah right.
gotta pray over it!

2009-11-22T21:18:00.002+08:00

an eventful week has past, and another one coming up!

Friday:
Katong Laksa!
it was delicious.
but one bowl's not enough lah.
fwg at cornerstone :D

Saturday:
service was refreshing once again.
first nowell/noel?
haha don't know.

Sunday:
Run For Hope 4K.
The t-shirt's nice(:

next week spam shepherdings.
LOLLLLL.
and spam homework.
currently working on quadratic functions.
when I'm done I can say, "yay I finished 1 maths ws but I still have 5 more to go" ._.

anyway I came across a few blogs of y-hope kias recently while blog hopping.
just clicking on some random names etc.
and I'm greatly encouraged.
one that left a lasting impression on me was a sec4 who is 3-4 months in christ, and he's already so commited to serving God, and desires to take this serving to another level, as a shepherd, spiritual mentor.
what was I doing at 3 months?
that'll be sept 08.
hmm I was avoiding shepherdings with my shepherd lol.
finding excuses about being too busy.
and I perceived cg to be a chore, each week I kept hoping there would be no cg.
and I was follow-upping on one of my current sheeps like a robot, "cos my shepherd says do so I just do lor" kind of thing.
or at times I just couldn't be bothered to, especially if it calls for some inconvenience on my part.
oops :X

now...
I initiate to meet my shepherd :D
I'm planning lgs with my new LGL/LL :D *eyebrows at HER* haha
I'm excited to meet my sheeps/follow uppees even if I've already seen them for more than a year :D
haha.
that's the differences a year made in my spiritual walk with God.
all the things I've been through with God and people around.
my shepherd always pushing me to go beyond my limits, courage to step out of the boat with faith.
cg giving encouragement and support and God forgiving when I repent, although I keep screwing up.

time flies.
last dec, I went for camp with my followuppee and a dunman high cg of about 7 ppl.
this dec, I'm going for camp with my sheeps + grandsheeps and a dunman high unit of 2 lgs, about 15 ppl.
I'm still amazed at the work of God in my life and their lives lah seriously.

doing life together(:
life will never be screwed up.
life may be unfair, but life to the fullest is not.

membership class(:

2009-11-19T21:22:00.004+08:00

cg @ minds cafe was great today!
haha we were practically making a fool of ourselves by being retarded and screaming while playing games.
especially Snorta and Ugly Ugly.
and the food there was great - beef lasagne.
we were going crazy over pronunciation of words.
nachos became nakos.
lasagne became lasanee.
etc etc.
ppl sure think we siao diao de.
haha but who cares we had lots of fun :D

and I'm amazed at what the juniors have to say about their new class.
siyao and vicki are in 3J :D
and 3E (amanda's class) is an imba class.
more than half the class are UG kias.
own luh.
going to CUGC = half class outing O.o
then pltc and coj groupings hmmm.
5 guides and 7 scouts or sth like that.
scarly 1 full patrol in 3E ._.
or maybe 3/4.
then scarly half of the CUGC '10 sls are in 3E O.o
haha but it's amusing.

btw I'm curious to ask crystabelle something.
does she know what class her super junior is in?
hahaha :D

and I had 2 weird dreams a few nights ago.
dream 1.
I was sitting down at this cafe with this guy and we were both 20+, like in working clothes too.
I know who the guy is .___.
and anyway we were communicating face to face but there was also this mahjong paper where we wrote our conversation down. (don't know why, told you it's a weird dream lol)
we were talking about kids and weirdly in the dream, it seemed as if I was the father O.o
then I wrote on the paper, "Actually, I want to adopt."
then it ended haha.
weird dream.
must be because of reading The Time Traveler's Wife.
cos this dream happened on the night when I finished reading it.
lol.

dream 2.
I was in class but I know it's not 3J classroom cos it looks different.
then there were about 3-4 girls around my table and I think we were discussing about some music performance preparation or sth.
we all could play either piano or guitar but none of us knew drums.
then suddenly I said, "I don't have drum sticks, let's just use our hands, like this."
and I just "drummed" on the table (don't know how I managed to do that ._.)
then the guy sitting behind us took out his sticks and started drumming on the table.
strangely, there was a drum set in our classroom and then we borrowed the sticks from him and just started jamming ._.

yeah my dreams are always weird.
I dream about random things and strangely enough I can still remember a few scenes here and there from my dreams even though it happened months ago.
haha so random.
but it's interesting to think back on those dreams.
and laugh over them.

2009-11-17T20:42:00.002+08:00

I'm back from phuket!!!
and I'm as red as the things I ate i.e prawns, lobsters, tom yam etc .____.
anyway it was a great and relaxing trip.
and I finished reading The Time Traveler's Wife.
great book but got some mature content.
but overall it was a very imaginative story.

and you know what, I got stung by a sea urchin.
maybe more than one but who cares it's still a sea urchin.
so I was trying to get up the boat in the shallow waters and suddenly I felt like a thousand needles had just been driven into my right shin.
and duh of course I was so freaking scared that I would die or sth.
I was like screaming, "ahhhhh!!! isit poisonous? isit poisonous?!!!! painnnnnnn!!!!!!"
and screaming a prayer in my heart.
My whole right leg was almost numb and I was sure it was a sea urchin cos I saw black needle-like pricks sticking out from my right shin.
You have no idea how painful it was.
imagine one bee sting.
not very pleasant huh?
now imagine 40 bees stinging you at the same time.
that was the amount of pain I felt, plus the thought in my head that I was gonna die.
40+ stinging pricks in my right shin.
YOU WANNA TRY??

Then I was brought to shore and the people there plucked out the pricks.
thank God the locals said the sea urchin was not poisonous.
and after they plucked out the pricks, the pain subsided and I was sort of able to walk.
and it is said that the pricks of the sea urchin contains calcium O.o
so means I got an extra dosage of calcium for the day through excruciating means ._.
but anyway thank God for delivering me through that ordeal.

but overall the trip was great.
especially the food :D
and the stains left by the sea urchin pricks are gone now(:

anyway last friday was an eventful day.
met my guides friends and then cg dinner.
and I shall do my magic eyebrow at sam(:
haha.

tomorrow's atc clean up and shooting course.
hope it'll be fun(:
p6 outing planning in progress!
hope to be able to invite the seniors who have passed down :D

2009-11-11T20:16:00.003+08:00

I'm back to civilisation from ATC!
haha so proud of P3 Titans!
impressive patrol spirit(:
lol.
nothing much to say about the planning cos hmm we already know it ourselves lol.
but it feels warm to be able to pia as a jie(:
that it's all for one and one for all.
was talking to nicholette on the way home about our sec1 days.
all the super funny stuff we did and our first impressions of one another.
and about our great seniors :D

anyway I'm so )))): that class chalet has been canceled cos only 13 people replied that they were going.
so sad luh.
it was supposed to be from 24-26 nov.
we must have a class gathering!!
haha.
anyway I better get started in homework asap or else I'd be dead :X
and I'll be off to Thailand this sat!
:D

and I feel so 'insecure' without a pick haha.
lost both black and red!
cos my playing is super lan so I can't do without a pick or else it'll sound more disgusting then it already is :X
must go get a new one soon!

2009-11-08T21:45:00.001+08:00

3J class chalet is on 24-26 nov!
all those who can come please come kay I wanna see all of you!!!!
lol.

anyways atc's from tomorrow to wed.
so I'll be mia-ing from 9-11 nov.
see you again on the 12th!
haha.

then I'll be leaving for Thailand on the 14th haha.

2009-11-07T21:16:00.003+08:00

Today's sermon was refreshing.
about how to sustain success.
besides learning how to deal with failures, we gotta learn to deal with successes too.
kinda true yeah?
cos like if we don't handle success properly, we'd become complacent and eventually lose everything.

anyway I got back my report book yesterday.
and I got a big big big big shock.
3.67 O.o
cos before that I was sure it'd be 3.27, so this was something beyond my expectations.
my face was literally O0O when I saw it.
so it turned out that LA, maths 1, geog were A instead of B.
probably some borderline As, so tyco.
it must have been God's grace luh :D

initially before getting results, I said that my holiday goal would be to run around my gpa in 20mins.
I thought running 3.27 was kinda feasible.
but now it's running 3.67 in 20mins lol.

and my hcl got C hahaha.
biggest joke.
wasn't really affected by it but still, I've gotta buck up or else I'd have to take chinese in SH if I fail O level hcl )):
shall read more chinese books during the hols (argh)
and you know what.
my comment was: Qing Yun is a quiet and pleasant girl etc etc
I laughed when I saw that.
quiet is a wrong word used to describe me.
although I must agree with the part about me being 'pleasant' ((:
makes me sound like I'm such a demure and sweet little girl awww.

YUCK.
I dislike cutesy cutesy stuff.
LOL.
and I don't know why but I'm beginning to dislike pink girly stuff.
high-5 sam.
I'm joining your anti-pink side soon.
(:
this is so weird, I remember when I used to be crazy over pink stuff in yr1/2.
esp hotpink.
now I just can't stand pink.
anti-pink ftw!
no offense to those out there who love pink ):
I'm leaving your side and joining the opposition.
haha.

btw I'm starting to miss 3J.
I wanna wanna wanna play with them.
so stupid luh.
we played games during our free periods after exams but it was so short lived )):
must have class chalet!
hope there'll be slots available.
and hope I'll be able to go too lol.
3J ppl if you can come pls come kay, don't tell me you wanna pon or else I kick you.
haha no luh.

2009-11-05T20:33:00.005+08:00

my affinity with the song [From The Inside Out].
first worship song in my mp3.
first ever worship song I've learnt on piano.
first ever 100% play-by-ear song.
and it has been completed today.
feel so satisfied lol.
although the right hand part sounds super simple cos mostly one-note kind.
but it's my first time mah.
nvm shall attempt to improvise and make it more chord-ish :D

[Love Story] and [Rolling Star] was 75% play-by-ear cos to being with, I already had the chord progressions so not counted ._.
[Doubt & Trust] was 100% sight-reading except improvisations lol.

gonna try and complete [Diary Of Jane] soon.

anyway tomorrow is pre camp inspection.
jiayous guides!
(:

I've decided to spend my holidays wisely.
finish homework asap.
spend more time with my mum.
spend more time learning about wog, with my cg and shepherd-granny and act cute sheeps :D
oops I'll get killed soon.
LOL.
spend more time practising piano and guitar.
spend more time jogging/treadmilling.
revise some yr3 topics that I'm not sure of.

anyway cheng nan jiu shi is nice.
read about half already and I can't wait to see what's the end lol.
the best story so far is the one about the "feng zi" mum and the daughter.
heartwarming stories inside.
and you gotta trust me.
cos if some chinese noob like me finds this book interesting, everyone will love the book(:

Who Am I - Casting Crowns
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

praise and worship songs do wonders to my emotions.
was feeling super emo after cg just now.
but after hearing this song.
I'm better(:

anw archery was fun today :D
when I had the bow I had the feeling I was gonna shoot someone.
haha.
the very first time I tried, I pictured cryst's face on the target, that's why I shot yellow :D
hahahaha jk lah cryst don't cry.
and we played mm ji ji during free time haha.

2009-11-02T21:30:00.001+08:00

off to malaysia tomorrow to visit my great grandmum.
and coming back tomorrow night.
guess what, I'm bringing my maths assignment along ._.
cos it's due on wed lol.

2009-11-01T16:12:00.003+08:00

I'm finally done gao dim-ing the wordforlife and dec camp consent forms.
feel so satisfied :D
thankyou cherisse!
lol.
eb2's form giver ._.
my sheep is eb2b's loanshark.
my classmate is eb2a's loanshark.
we're all ready to chase ppl :D
lol.

I feel like such a neat freak gosh how did I become like that.
since when have I become so organised, using namelists and tables and stuff?
lol.

2009-11-01T13:37:00.004+08:00

back from Great Eastern run.
lol it was a nice weather.
according to mum, she said I did 5K in 30mins O.o
so maybe I should prac for 10K next year haha.
since my goal was to do a 10K before I turn 17.
and my long term goal is to do a marathon before I'm 30.

was thinking whether I should do maths 1 & 2 corrections and hand in to ms lim.
cos it's compulsory only for those who failed.
But aiyah I think I should do it.
cos my maths ain't that fantastic.
I must really make full use of this dec holidays.
an ALL-ROUNDED holiday :D

jihe on Friday went quite smooth, surprisingly.
like there were not much changes to be made on the spot.
thank God mann.
and poor mishi had egg splashed on her ):

had dmm yesterday.
hmm alot of stuff to take note of.
but one step at a time!
(:

all guides jiayous for camp prep!
hmm :D
EB2b guides: ice cream cg promise!

and anyway during that 1 month of totally not going back to school after 18nov, I wanna have some coloured hair extensions :D
maybe some guailan colour like pink or purple.
then go to class chalet looking like some O.o person.
lol.
just a passing thought haha.
to do something different this holiday :D

anyways wordforlife is back!
:D

must make full use of my holidays(:

2009-10-28T20:18:00.007+08:00

Talk about my remaining results first lol.
chem was a shock.
87.
was betting with cryst online the night before.
if I got A+, I'd treat her to a drink.
if I got above 85, I'd treat her to lunch.
if I got A, she'd treat me a drink.
if I got B, she'd treat me to lunch.
so I gotta treat her lunch lol ._.

geog was a shock too.
45.5/60.
A.
cos my answers were quite crappy so I thought I was gonna do pretty badly.
think my overall's B bah.

maths 2 was quite expected.
B.
cos I put in less effort for this as compared to maths 1 :X

physics was quite okay.
A.
so my overall is A :D
considering the fact that I failed kinematics and dynamics CT lol.

throughout all the discussion of the 8 papers, I was just sitting at my seat shaking my leg when almost half the cohort went up to claim marks lol.
could see a bird's eye view of happenings from where I was sitting.
some people were talking with the teacher for a long time haha.
and somehow I was able to notice some people who went up for every paper lol.
not saying that they're despo or what, but I think I just didn't bother to argue for any ambiguous-looking answers cos since they've gone through many hands, I trust the teachers(:

Subject ranking in terms of effort and results:
1) chem (chem)
2) bio (geog)
3) physics (physics)
4) maths 1 (maths 1)
5) geog (LA)
6) maths 2 (bio)
7) LA (maths 2)
8) HCL (HCL)

so well for 4 of the subjects, my effort = result haha.

so my overall gpa is 3.27 I think.
well okay I did reach my aim of getting >3.2, and getting >A for sciences, and getting at least 1 A+ (chem).
haha shall go treat myself to something soon (:

but hey kiddos in case you're pissed, don't get me wrong.
I'm not being an asshole here trying to complain about/show off my results or whatever.
actually those results don't really affect me lah.
I'm just proving the fact that hard work does pay off.
well most of the time.
and proving the fact that people like me who were not born to be a mugger can get reasonable results if I work hard.
and proving the fact that fantastic subject teachers do affect the results of an abit below-average-in-3J student(:
because no matter how many times I failed their CTs, they believed in me, that I was "capable of better results".
haha.

and also, wanna thank God for being there for me always, being there to hear me cry out during physics mugging, hearing me desperately hoping that post eoys would come soon.
and also for all that encouragement from my cg mates, friends and family!

my mum is proud of me.
my shepherd is proud of me.
my sheeps are proud of me.
my co-cla is proud of me.
for getting 3.27.
it may seem peanuts to some people, but to someone who thought she couldn't scrape through a 3, and yet had faith for 3.2, 3.27 means alot.
thank God for seeing me through(:

anyway today was a great day for crystabelle.
don't you think so?
:D

2009-10-26T19:57:00.005+08:00

got back LA HCL maths 1 bio today.
hmmm mixed emotions.

LA was okay okay.
quite glad for expository essay but ._. for compre.
B for eoys.
overall is A/B.

HCL was hahahahahahaha.
C for eoys.
but it didn't affect me at all cos I'm not counting it in anyway.
overall is B.

let's talk about the disappointing one first.
abit disappointed with bio cos I put in quite alot of effort.
more than maths and LA.
put in alot of effort for sciences.
then bio got 65.5.
cos of the essay part which pulled me down - 3 line answers how much can that get lol.
eh I wasn't disappointed at first lor.
until I saw some bian tai person who got 87 ._.
then that person still come suan me somemore.
but whatever my overall still A so I was kinda phew.

and maths 1 was....
don't know how to say.
when the teacher announced that half the cohort failed, I was like )))):
cos my maths is usually below average or average, so if average is fail, means I failed.
then I got back my paper.
56/80.
I was like, "O.o I passed!!"
then I calculated the percentage.
70% right on the dot O.o
happy is not exactly a suitable adjective to describe how I felt.
I was super SHOCKED.
in a good way.
my reaction was quite big lol.
I WILL SUAN THAT PERSON BACK WITH MY MATHS 1 :D
haha but anyway think my maths 1 overall is B.

brought 2 packets of tissue to the PAC today but thank God I didn't have to use it lol.
hope I don't have to use the tissues tomorrow either.
then can use them to fold stuff ._.
caught a cold during lunch and was sneezing alot then some of my friends thought I was crying lol.
nah I'm alright, I won't cry over 3 Bs cos I'm used to it lol.

yeah so actually right now my gpa is 3?
satisfied for now.
calculated wrongly and thought it was below 3 lol.
hope it doesn't go below 3 :X
not that I would care if it's really 2.8, but I don't wanna disappoint my physical family and spiritual family mah ):

but my faith ain't wavered yet! :D
chem geog maths 2 physics tomorrow.
hope they'll pull my gpa up.

anyway on a lighter note, met my new sheep today.
so weird mann.
we were like laughing throughout the whole shepherding ._.
met another sheep too(:

2009-10-25T21:33:00.007+08:00

Some pics from my day at sentosa!
celebrated yilian's birthday with class in the morning and afternoon.
celebrated ching's birthday with cg in the evening.

my lunch :D

Universal Studios in progress!

3J :D

tomorrow's the day we get back our eoy papers ._.
in the PAC.
tomorrow = some mass massacre
the moment of truth.
whatever I shall bring tissue tomorrow.
though I hope I don't need it :X
hope no one else needs it either.

exam papers: go screw yourself or we're gonna kill you.

me: no no no please let me live, oh pleasssseeeeeeeee! I have only lived for a short 15 years, why do you wanna kill me?

exam papers: we used to be tall and majestic trees, and now we have been reduced to this just for your use.

me: no I wouldn't have wanted you to be killed if I had a choice!

exam papers: HECK CARE YOU. you wrote on our dead bodies and you will pay for it, we shall take your life.

me: oh I beg you noooooooo, I still have my family my friends my cg my sheeps my shepherd my dogs my bed my handphone my mp3 (...)

exam papers: oh irritating human being, just shut the crap up and get out of here ._.

if only it was that easy to escape death from eoys.
LOL.
aiyah shall listen to my sheep lah.
"Haha no must have faith!"
haha :D

2009-10-25T10:32:00.008+08:00

Happy 100th post at stopturnwalk!

haha can't believe it has been 100 posts already.

anyway I wanna post about change and how much I hate change.

I hate change because:
1) it results in mixed emotions, like you don't know whether to feel happy sad excited scared nervous or what.
2) it affects me and the people around me.
3) it kicks me out of my comfort zone, into combat zone
4) it means rising up to new challenges and facing more problems
5) it is a pain in the eye
6) it is a pain in the nose
7) it is a pain in the mouth
8) it is a pain in head
9) it is a pain in the chest
10) it is a pain in the ass

note: reasons 5-10 are just to take up space

I don't mind change because:
1) it helps me handle my emotions
2) it strengthens our relationships and helps us grow
3) it teaches me to adapt to the combat zone and make it comfortable (and then the whole cycle continues again)
4) it helps me to face challenges with an open heart and seek to learn from them.
5) painkillers can kill the pain
6) painkillers can kill the pain
7) painkillers can kill the pain
8) painkillers can kill the pain
9) painkillers can kill the pain
10) painkillers can kill the pain

note: reasons 5-10 are just to take up space

well change is for the better, and as much as I hate it, it ain't that bad, ain't it?
(For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.) - Jeremiah 29:11
well I guess yesterday really taught me how to be more holy spirit-led as I talked to one sheep + analysed some stuff for another sheep.
it is a time of preparation for her, and also for me.
for me to grow in godly courage, if you know what I mean.
let's grow together (:
remember the sermon yesterday: we don't need the approval of everyone, cos there'll be someone who doesn't approve. we live for the audience of One(:
(sam shared testimony ytd :D)

and okay on a lighter/heavier note, I have become a grand-shepherd O.o
feel so erm old.
(this makes leow a great-grandshepherd)
lol.
and erm I got another sheep too.
I don't know how to feel.
well I feel excited for the shepherd of my grand-sheep cos it'll be a time of growth for her(:
and for me and sam too lol.
then I also feel scared cos like, who knows what's gonna happen?
feel nervous about meeting my new sheep.
feel happy cos God is still trusting me to handle new people, even after my countless times of screwing up. unintentionally.
mixed emotions, look at reason (1).

on an even lighter note, welcome to y-hope, natasha!
hope you had fun yesterday(:
and cherv, ching, laura, mish, sha, welcome to the dmm!
more challenges along the way!
:D

-in no particular order-
sheep 1: glad that you are picking yourself up. waiting for breakthroughs! :D it's a time of preparation. stand firm in your faith kay don't let it waver, you're gonna be stronger once you overcome it(: no one is too useless to serve!

sheep 2: jiayous! go sheep you can do it. Me and sam are behind you, and God's behind you too(: and you know what, I understand what you're gonna go through cos I'm going through it too lol. share to you more soon!

sheep 3: I'm waiting for your reply dear(: be super honest kay, just wanna know how you feel about it(:

sheep 4: see you on monday! :D

why do I get sheeps who are taller than me? lol.
anyways, love yall and thanks for being in my life.
yall may not know it, but yall actually help me grow too(:
more challenges, more heart wreckings, more telepathy-ing, more communications blah blah blah.
but when we get out of them, we'll be stronger x10000000!

after mugging chem bio physics maths1 maths2 ~~chinese~~ LA geog,
now it's time to mug sheeps.
LOL.
my meaning of mug = attempting to understand mah.

picture post for my day at sentosa (class outing + cg) coming up in the next post.

2009-10-22T21:01:00.001+08:00

Haiz tell me how unlucky I am.
both guides outing and class outing on the same day same time.
SAME PLACE AT SENTOSA somemore ._.

guides: harbourfront stn at 1130, lunch at vivo, bring picnic mat.
class: harbourfront stn at 11, lunch at vivo, bring picnic mat.

I'm going for class outing, cos well it's my first 3J outing.
and I feel I've been neglecting my classmates alot at the start of the year due to focusing too much on guides preps and all so sorry dears ):
I finally understood how talk-able the people in 3J are when I finally settled down and got to understand them better.
we are kinda like a clique-less class?(:
minor cliques but still who cares?

looking forward to tomorrow!

My Sister's Keeper came out in cinemas today!!!
I wanna go watch it soon luh.
Saw the trailer before 500 days of summer, and it rocks can.
so touching.
must go watch soon! :D

oh and did I mention what happened to me during maths 2 yesterday?
my phone alarm rang in my bag which was outside the class ._.
and being reg no 4, I sat near the corridor, and I could totally hear it.
even mingwei in front of me heard it and she turned to look outside :X
while I was at qns 3, the alarm rang and I panicked totally.
So I skipped the question cos I couldn't concentrate.
then at qns 10 my alarm rang and I got distracted again O.o
so I skipped again lol.

and you know what, there was once when the invigilator was standing at the lockers next to where I was sitting, and suddenly the alarm went on!!!
I was freaking scared kay.
I was sweating.
but anyway thank God she just walked off.
then my alarm stopped ringing after that so I had enough concentration to go back to qns 3 and I realised it wasn't that difficult lol.
as for qns 10, I did the working but when I wanted to write my answers, teacher said pens down ._.
so on my paper it was like
2x + something = (some angles)
x = (blank)

I am so careless.
didn't turn off my alarm ._.
close shave.

2009-10-21T20:12:00.000+08:00

Eoys be gone!
whoohoo!
OVER.
YAY.
Maths 2 was abit...
but nevermind.
over liao.
no more cooping myself up in the library after school to mug!
now I shall go haunt the music atrium :D

(cryst, the lover of my favourite junior, strongly insisted that all beautiful pics of hers be removed)

p.s. ask me who my favourite junior is (:

Singapore is actually a beautiful country kay.
especially the city area.
took this on my way to EB2a cg last friday (:

so happy can.
I immediately went to find cryst and changed into jie4 tee.
then talked to my sheep about some stuff for awhile.
then went to play badminton with cryst.
haven't played since primary school.
Can't believe we sweat so much in 30mins, half court somemore O.o
oh and many interesting things happened.
we saw the same specific person 4 times today.
duck walk ftw!

went to watch 500 Days Of Summer with cryst and sookwei.
wanted to go watch with my classmates at first, but couldn't make it at 1230 ):
haha the movie was super nice.
the plot is great.
the director is so creative, and the visual effects rock kay.
music's not bad too.

tomorrow I shall go change my rusty strings ):
and hopefully it'll be cheap lol.
must start planning my holiday schedule now.
shall go run in the morning tomorrow.
hope I have the discipline to do it lol.

getting back exam scripts in PAC WOW.
can see everyone's emotions.
can't read my, can't read my, no she can't read my poker face.
LOL.

really wanna thank God for being there always even through exams and all.
remembered when I was super stressed while mugging physics, especially mugging "Moments" and "Work, energy, power".
I was close to tears cos I couldn't understand how to do those calculation questions and was super afraid like what if the test the next day were spammed with those.
then I'll die terribly.
but my heart was calmed down as I did qt and all.
no matter what the results of eoys are and will be, I will still give thanks to God.
because "when we win we praise God, when we lose we praise God."
quoted from the movie "Facing The Giants".
It was the movie that was screened when I first stepped into y-hope(:
see I still can remember lol.

2009-10-20T22:10:00.000+08:00

last paper tomorrow.
:D
physics today was...
okay some people said it was freaking easy, some people said it was super difficult.
so far I haven't heard any in-betweens.
I think I'd go with the difficult end :X
well anyway who cares.
it's over it's over tomorrow's the last paper!

2009-10-18T21:00:00.000+08:00

I am here to express my undying love for maths 2, especially trigo 2 and 3 identities.
they rock so much can.
I love them to bits and pieces.
I'd rather be proving identities than doing polynomials.
and I'd rather be drawing trigo graphs than doing discrimants and all.

but sadly, trigo identities don't love me ):
cos they don't let me finish them up quickly.

mugging physics with sherly at bedok tomorrow.
hope it'll be productive.
dmm meeting before that (:
hope it'll be productive too lol.

brief outline of things to buy after eoys:
- drumsticks from yamaha/bras basah
- new guitar strings from bras basah
- new sermon book from artbox/urbanwrite
- new qt book from artbox/urbanwrite
- scrapbook materials from urbanwrite
- ess gifts

brief outline of things to do after eoys including holidays:
- shepherdings
- complete 'Lips Of An Angel'
- learn 'Diary Of Jane'
- swimming
- badminton
- catching
- learn something new
- take some time to review and clear doubts from subjects that I did badly for 2009 (so that the basics will be there for year 4)

brief outline lol.
might have to add more.

2009-10-18T11:48:00.000+08:00

did some self evaluation yesterday, and many things just came to my mind.
like stuff that I did in the past came flowing into my brain.
something like a recollection lol.

there was once for this maths CT that was really a true test of my integrity.
I received it back and got 11/20.
At first I thought to myself, not too bad, well it's above the class average.
like how rare it is for me to get above class average.
Then I counted the marks and realised 2 more marks were not counted in, so I should have gotten 13.
well of course anyone will want the 2 extra marks regardless of what our original marks were right.
so I decided to go up and find her at the end lesson.

then while going through the paper, I found an ambiguous mistake worth 1 mark.
the answer was -3.
well during the test, my initial answer was -3, but in the end I changed my answer by canceling the negative sign.
so on the paper it looked a little something like this --> ~3.
so probably ms lim saw it as -3 and marked it correct.

so basically I should have gotten 12.
well after all, 13 is better than 12, and who knows what that 1 mark could have done.
it's 65% vs 60%.
I mark was 5% more.
I was having some emotional argument in my mind.
whether or not to inform about the 1 mark less I should've gotten.
initially I just wanted to claim the 2 extra marks and keep mum about the -3 answer.
I even gave myself the excuse, "aiyah, later ms lim scold me for not canceling properly."

so I went up at the end of the lesson, planning to only claim the 2 marks.
then while I was waiting in line for some other people who went to clarify stuff, suddenly I was reminded of the word of God, and how I should be honest and all.
and how I should be salt and light.
I was reminded to stay true to what I've been taught.
so somehow I just told ms lim, and she didn't scold me for not writing clearly(:

well that 0.2% could have caused me to cross the borderline from B to C.
maybe from 60.0 to 59.8. (if they don't round up)
or 59.5 to 59.3 (if they round up)
don't know.
but even if I had that extra mark, I would not be able to live up to my conscience.
so thank God for reminding me about my moral values.

I'm so lame right.
this kind of thing also can remember.
lol.
yeah I remember many random things.

2009-10-17T20:30:00.000+08:00

today's service was really refreshing.
sermon was about dealing with distractions and defamations etc.
and about godly courage.

before lunch, dennis challenged the whole East to plan our holidays properly and not just slack around/play com everyday and all.
to really utilise our free days we have, so that we don't look back and regret wasting our holiday away.
and anyway I love the new location lol.

I hate change.
but change is for the better.
I hate opening my golden mouth and being direct.
but being direct helps us be specific and straight to the point.

thanks shepherd.

anyways jiayous for the remaining papers!!!
:D
it'll be over soon.
really soon.

2009-10-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

maths paper and HCL 1 today.
maths was...
haiz screwed.
well everyone screwed it anyway.
hope they will raise the grade :D
and I got B for jap lol.
so seems like I have to rely on LA for language in L1B5.
if my LA can even get A overall.

my aim is at least 3.2.
or at least above 3.
not very demanding what right.
not like I'm aiming for 3.6 or what.
I just don't want to pull down my class average by so much.
though by getting 3.4 in sem1 I have successfully pulled the class average down by alot.
sorry 3J.
I can't help it that I'm not as smart as you guys :X
though I really thought 3.4 was not bad?
until I heard condemnations on 3.6 ):
but I did try my best lahhh.
and I will try my best not to pull it down so much this time(:
I hope.

hope I'll be refreshed by God during service tomorrow.
actually I've been refreshed during qt too lol.
and hope that district lunch will be a good time of fellowship.

crashed EB2a cg at kallang macs today lol.
I meant to go there just for fun but it actually turned out rather useful.
it was a good time of evaluation.
in fact I feel it's really effective and efficient.
learnt more from EB2a and how they carry out cg(:

step out of my comfort zone.
okay tomorrow will be a test of my promise.
like what ain't eoys enough?
and I have to go through more tests.
LOL haha bring it on mann.
we'll grow through testings :D
God tests us because He sees that we're ready.
So, God really thinks that I'm ready :D
I feel honoured lol.
haha.

anyway I wanna say thank you to my mum for understanding me.
cos she's now overseas.
through sms:

mum: How's your paper today?

me: maths today was... minus 10 plus plus marks alr cos it was super difficult.

mum: nevermind as long as you have tried your best.

(:
but still I will try my best(:

hey guys don't get me wrong, I'm not emo-ing over 10 plus marks.
I'm stating a fact.
what you want me to say?
"oh erm I think I lost 10 plus marks plus careless mistakes so it'll be 20 plus 30 plus marks ):"
why be so pessimistic?
(although I think I am that careless)
sorry, self-denial mode now.
lol.

anyway I just feel like posting my views about the Ris Low incident.
Some people are like still condemning her over it.
I mean come on, how long has it been already?
move on people.
She's just another imperfect human, just like us.
I do agree that someone more articulate should have been chosen to represent Singapore, but it's not her fault that she had a slip of the tongue.
I mean sometimes we do slip and fumble over long words when we converse right.
just that sometimes we don't go back and correct them.
well for the credit card fraud thing...
yeah it goes against the rules, so she should not be allowed to participate.
but still it doesn't give us a reason to condemn her over the credit card thingy right.
she's already out of the competition what, what more do people wanna say?

anyway sorry if anyone disagrees luh, but that's just my take on this.

2009-10-15T21:37:00.000+08:00

Updates on my life status for eoys.
1% batt left.
lol no luh.
I don't know.

LA, geog and chem were quite okay.
but that doesn't guarantee my mark range :X
and bio was...
one word.
screwed.
I'm certainly sure that I have been jinxed/cursed today.
someone must have made a voodoo doll and poked it )):
that's why my bio's like that.
shame on you jinxer.
you jinxed a poor random innocent girl who meant you no harm at all )):
yes you, hope you screw maths 1 tomorrow(:

hahaha lol ._.
kay lah I brought it upon myself luh.

I studied kay.
I studied one week ago too, but I just couldn't do the paper.
okay I did the paper, but my answers were crap.
It was like I'm just writing an answer there to fill up the blank spaces.
look at my essay, four-liner for a 6-mark question WOW.
ownage.

mugged maths with nicole in classroom.
and guess what, I napped from 330 - 400.
lying on the lockers ._.
but it was a good rest haha.
the school seemed super deserted :X
and we were talking about post-eoys plan on the way home.
catching! :D
hide and seek! :D
gonna find people to play with us lol.

remember those primary school days when we could practically run around the concourse/parade square and play ice and water?
or crocodile?
or 'what time is it?'
or hide and seek?
so fun right.

Maths 1
HCL 1
Physics
HCL 2
Maths 2

I can taste freedom nearing already.

2009-10-12T21:34:00.000+08:00

LA today was okay.
rhymes.
slept earlier than usual yesterday.

did the one on leadership and the one about family and friends influencing one's actions.
cos leadership - did during ACE.
family and friends - did during BBYD essay.
don't know luh, hope it'll go well.
geog tomorrow.

ppl are like, "I can't get A+ for this subject, I give up, I'm not counting it in my GPA."
and I'm like, "I can't get A+ for this subject but I think I can get A if I work hard, I'm so counting it in my GPA."
you know why?
cos I have no A+s! :D
LOL ._.
so obviously I'm counting a few Bs inside too.
"your Bs and Cs could have been all As" - Josh's parents in Bang Bang You're Dead.
Thank God I'm not Josh, if not I would have shot everyone and everything.
seriously they're so pressurising.
Thank God my mum ain't like that.
if not I would have left home by now, perhaps I'd be smoking in the streets with my hair dyed hot pink or somewhat.
O.o

mugging with cryst in library was fun today.
she has weird but entertaining classmates(:
and I'm beginning to agree with her that a certain person is quite chio.
lol.
cryst is gonna kill me when she sees this oops :X
and it was fun writing geog on the whiteboard in discussion room lol.
drawing the concentric + sector + multiple nuclei + southeast asian model.
and comparing our geog and hist stuff.

had a 15-minute nap just now.
maybe tomorrow I shall nap abit in school too :D
but meeting sam for awhile first.
since geog ends at 1030.
some people must be thinking I have alot of time.
LOL.
nap awhile nia.
if I were to go home I'd nap the whole day can ._.

so jailing myself in the library with my inmate cryst (how terrible!) is a good way to discipline myself cos it's rather effective(:
cos she keeps me awake.
why?
cos I can practise rolling my tongue and highlight words on cryst's paper that start with the letter R (cryst's favourite letter)

increase in concentration = increase in frequency of effective collisions between reacting particles.
so I must concentrate more so that my brain cells and memory disk can react more efficiently.

2009-10-10T21:43:00.001+08:00

Ouch my heart has been pierced through by the double-edged sword.
ouch.

today at sermon we learnt about resolving conflicts.
with cross reference from Nehemiah 5.
1) be specific.
2) be direct.
3) practise accountability to your leaders/shepherds.

I have to resolve my conflicts.
so I shall start with resolving conflicts between me and my cg mates.
argh it hurts to do so.
I don't dare to speak up.
I don't want to open my golden mouth and talk frank.
I don't want to do it.
I really don't want to do it.
like what if the people I talk to take offense?
maybe if I just shut up, things will go on normally like before.
okay fine no I must do it, if not I will implode/explode.

okay go cherisse.
be obedient to the word of God.
just do it.

well I have to resolve my conflicts with cg mates whom I think they:
- misunderstand my emotions/actions
- get the wrong message from me

must do it soon.
cos if the cg is divided, if the cg is not united, we'll never grow, cos we can't even stand.
what more walk.

shepherd if you're reading this, expect to hear from me soon.
I'm gonna account to you(:
any of my cg mates/unit mates/district mates reading this, you are my witness that I will resolve my conflicts(:
soon.

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

This was the 'exam verse' for EB2 last year.
one year has past.
wow.
and we have grown from like less than 10 to 20+.
and we will continue to grow(:

"I am physically and mentally drained from mugging, I can't cram anything more into my head!" - cherisse

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:31

"I am super nervous. What if I don't understand the questions? What if I have a mental block? What if I can't finish the paper?" - cherisse

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." -John 14:27

2009-10-09T21:27:00.000+08:00

the last friday before eoys.
gah.
only got back science CA2 grades.
A+ for chem, A for bio, B for physics.
not bad so must jiayous even more for eoys!

mugged physics with cryst and siyao in library today.
saw a super chio person a few tables away.
cryst refused to look in that direction cos she felt that the above mentioned person was too chio for her eyes to take.
too chio.
((:

actually she had seen this chio person in school a few times, but she had always been avoiding this chio person cos she didn't want this chio person to say hi to her ._.
cos she doesn't want to reminded that the chio person is too chio.

anyway today in class a few of us exchanged spectacles and examined how we looked in wenting's iPhone mirror.
lol.
too boliao already(:

"Brain cells create ideas. Stress kills brain cells. Stress is not a good idea." Thorpe Molloy
Amanda asked me to post this.

anyway I just feel like writing an essay outline.
for fun.

"Fingers shouldn't be pointed at someone when rumours are heard." Do you agree with the statement? EYA.

I agree. (too lazy to type intro)

Point: the victim is totally not into it, it's all just an exaggeration.
Evidence: the victim's conscience is clear.
Elaboration: the victim does not giggle to act cute, does not act demure to gain attention.
Link: Having a clear conscience = not guilty = the rumours have been exaggerated by unknown sources

Point: it will be very hurtful for the victim
Evidence: victim does not dare to see certain people cos they will suan the victim
Elaboration: victim takes different routes and avoids these people
Link: results in victim living in fear of being scrutinised, hurt because it wasn't the victim's fault.

Point:
Evidence:
Elaboration:
Link:
too lazy to think of a 3rd point ._.

Acknowledgment of the other side of the argument:
-normal to gossip, since it is prevalent in Singapore schools.
-however, no one is to be blamed for things that go wrong, because it is normal for everyone to have emotions.

Conclusion:
too lazy to type conclusion ._.

am I being observant or what?
lol.
hope something similar comes out :D
maybe something like "teenagers point fingers because all their friends are doing so."

argh LA.

2009-10-07T21:38:00.000+08:00

yeah what else did I do today?
mug in the library ._.
lol maths 1.
quite productive I guess.

thankyou sam and jess for the exam kits!!!!
jiayous for your results tomorrow!

and today in class I was being bullied again ._.
my precious wallet got stolen during lunch by sylvia.
then somehow they passed around the wallet and I didn't know whose hands it was in.
So I went around the class demanding my wallet back from any random person lol.
and kimberly was like, "I thought sylvia took it?"
then before LA lecture she took out the wallet from her under her table and put it on mine ._.
so I O.o-ed at her.

oh another incident of bullying.
aileen + annabel + wenting emptied my pencil case and aileen took my glue!!!
so I had no choice but to use my special skill to tackle :D
and I got back my glue.
*smile of success*

and during lessons we were staring at sheena.
Cos I was telling kimberly and wenting how sheena looks like fann wong.
seriously lor.

4 days left zomg.
14 days to freedom! :D

2009-10-06T21:20:00.000+08:00

quite productive mugging today.
mugged maths 1 at library after shepherding with laura.
and we met sam and yiling!
haha digressed abit.
then went back.

persevere!
it'll be over soon.

21st October.

class life is getting more entertaining with where I'm sitting.
I don't wanna change seating arrangement anymore.

anyway ms lim showed us jokes today :D
super hilarious.
people with minds that are too pure won't be able to get them lol.

facebook trusts me mann.
ALOT.
prediction on the mugging effectiveness meter for today - 100%
prediction for tomorrow - 92%
LOL.
so ._.

2009-10-05T21:19:00.000+08:00

hmm quite a productive day today.
more or less finished mugging chem.

free study period during assembly period.
I am a victim of theft in 3J )))):
LOL.
haha I pretended to cry and act pitiful in front of wenting so that she would return to me my ez link card.
wenting is a LIAR.
LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE.
lol.

mugged at library after that with sherly, geraldine, nicholette.
super fun to suan sherly with geraldine.
especially the part about sherly being a cat and me holding her like a cat LOL.

mugged in discussion room 1, then moved to discussion room 3 after that.
room 1 had a weird smell O.o
I prefer room 3.
geog bio chem LA more or less done.
left maths 1 maths 2 physics :X
and hcl ._.

anyway mum bought biscuits.
exam food :D
that's what I really need.
thanks!

persevere!
it'll be over soon.
it'll be over really soon.
and then I can do what I really want to do.

2009-10-04T17:52:00.000+08:00

taking some relax-time-out to blog(:
more or less successfully sticking to my study plan bah.
this week is filled with mug dates.
mon - sherly and nic
tues - laura
wed - cg
thurs - fiona
fri - siyao
intensive mug-mode lol.

yesterday's sermon was cool.
'how to handle criticisms and discouragement'.
I totally needed that.
especially the part about discouragements and all.
lol.

anyways.
I have thought of some stuff for my post-eoys plan.
briefly!
lol I'm not distracted kay.
haha yesterday I smsed nicole whether wanna like ask a few people to play badminton after eoys.
she said she was thinking of sports too.
great minds think alike :D

oh I remembered I promised to teach wenyi guitar too lol.
oops and sally too.
haha I think sally forgot about it already :P

during eoys period:
the trend observed - the basketball crowd + the canteen crowd + the classroom crowd are now concentrated in the library.
aka agglomeration in the library is observed - people who have been spending their after-school hours eating and chatting and playing are now mugging in the library.
agglomeration - ~~industries~~ (students) concentrate in a ~~region~~ (library) due to favourable conditions (for mugging)

advantages:
- maximise use of infrastructure (discussion rooms and tables and chairs)
- easy access to related facilities e.g financial services (many people around, so you can feel free to ask and clear your doubts)
- reputation attracts other ~~foreign investors~~ (other students)

disadvantages:
- space constraints
- high levels of pollution (noise pollution)

I'm typing all these as I mug geog O.o
therefore I agree to the statement that agglomeration and its consequences are not confined to industries alone.
._.

2009-10-02T20:53:00.000+08:00

Jap EOYs are over!!!!!
yay.
anyway the paper itself was okay but listening was screwed to the max.
got back bio today.
not too bad.
18/25.

had chem remedial today and I sat next to my dear dear crystabelle!!!!
had fun drawing on her paper :D
mugged bio at library today with claire and cryst.
saw like at least 5 3J people there lol.
evacuated to the canteen cos I was hungry ._.

then went to macs to eat!
and talked alot with cryst.
she made me laugh till I spit out ice 4 times!!!

anyway haiya.
whatever.
say lor.
not like I care.
haiz.
some people just can't stop bringing up the past.

so tempted to come up with a post-exam daily plan.
since I've come up with a 3-week study plan, 3-week post exam plan shouldn't be much of a hassle.
lol.
but that'll be planned after eoys luh.

2009-09-29T20:49:00.000+08:00

today's mug date with laura and nicholette was rather productive.
stuck to my 29/9 study plan of bio c2-6((:
*applauds*
lol.
and I took yanglaoshi's exam tips advice and booked the discussion room so as to face a whiteboard/wall.
hope I can get bonus (boner) marks.
LOL.

ate like a pig today cos I studied like a pig.

anyway the back of the class has become more lively.
due to alot of factors.
1. I get attacked by 2 chio girls in front of me e.g wenting and shuqi and have to fear for my life.
2. I get to hear super funny gossips from surrounding convos. e.g xiaowen and clara.
3. I get to puke after hearing ppl zilian-ing ._. e.g mark and kimberly.

however, the most important contributing factor is: the agreement of everyone that kimberly likes CSL.
a very well-known guy in school.
((:

physics teacher: (referring to physics assignment) what is a couple?
sitong: a boy and a girl!
physics teacher: haha not funny.
(people around kimberly look at her and say CSL)

class life is getting more entertaining :D

2009-09-28T16:39:00.000+08:00

got back physics.
I didn't get 10.
I got 12.
lol.
anyways had jap oral just now too.
at 230!
I was like one of the first few can.
but at least I could get it over and done with :D
bet some people are still having oral now HAHA :D
oops so mean :X

anyway today a certain person insulted me ):
that certain person said certain words to ruin my reputation.
and those certain words weren't even true at all.
and hence certain people heard the words of this certain person.
I don't know if they believed it, but if they did, then they are certainly not geog/history students.
because they didn't get certain facts correct ._.
but anyway my conscience is clear.
so I will not be bothered by the words but will certainly be irritated if I ever hear those words again in front of certain people O.o

anyway I watched F1 yesterday.
throughout the whole race!
anyway it wasn't very entertaining luh cos Hamilton was leading all the way, except for that period when he was neck to neck with Alonso.
Some of them were like super wasted.
dropped from top 3 to like 9 or 10+ cos of penalty drive-thru.
if not I think the competition would have been more entertaining, to see Hamilton + Rosberg + Vettel fighting neck to neck.
watching the teams attend to the race car in like less than 10 seconds was entertaining too.

2009-09-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

NO TRIGO 3 CT!!!!! :D
but there's still a trigo 3 pop quiz.
lol.
today's physics remedial was ownage.
laughing gas diffused into the air of 3J.
the laughing gas inhaled went past our nasal cavity, down the pharynx, larynx, trachea, which branches out into bronchi, and branches out into bronchioles and ends with a cluster of air sacs.
there was a point in time when everyone in 3J was laughing like siao over some stuff.
then physics teacher was like, "the only composed one is hongwen."
and 3J went, "hahahahahahahahahah *burst out into peals of laughter for like 1 minute*"

anyway I'm like shocked at chem.
thought I would fail.
so when I saw my marks I was SHOCKED.
okay I know alot of people in my class got 20 or >20.
but I think 19 is not bad okay!
considering the fact that it's coming from me.
19 is a great accomplishment for me :D
and I finally got a sticker for a chem CT!
lol.
sounds so primary school-ish.

but duh of course I didn't tell certain people my certain marks cos certain people who got 19 were certainly complaining ._.
lol.
aiyah sorry luh no offence intended.

anyway I'm happy I didn't fail physics.
cos physics teacher said NO FAILURES.
ya even if I'm the one who got 10, I'll still be (:
at least I passed.
passed a subject that was out to kill me.
great achievement.

today was a great day for me.
and tomorrow will be better.

and I must take a step of faith and courage.
soon.
do not procrastinate girl.
fear gets us nowhere.
nowhere!

anyway today I was attempting to search on youtube for the title of a song I really liked by typing in one line of the lyrics.
I found it!
"Unbeautiful" by someone called lesley roy.
so well since I was on youtube, I thought why not just check out her other songs for fun.
and gosh her songs really rock.
totally own.
go listen!
they're so lyrical and musical.
haha.

2009-09-24T21:22:00.000+08:00

Today was a super refreshing day.
It started out kind of chui and all, but towards the afternoon it got better.
Cos I was refreshed.
shepherding with laura during lunch was really refreshing.
omg she's super observant! lol.
and impromptu shepherding with siyao was great too!
thank God for yall ((:
and thank God for EB2a too!
for making siyao and I feel the warmth of the cg today even though we're not in EB2a.
hey it rhymes.

anyway yesterday bio CT was super own can.
physics teacher came in during physics lesson with a stack of paper and said, "separate your tables."
then we were like, "what the?!!!!!! physics pop quiz? I didn't study can!"
then physics teacher said, "it's your bio CT."
and we were like, "what the?!!!!!!! not prepared! too sudden!"
so physics teacher gave us 10 minutes to revise.
and during that period of revision, I totally could not concentrate at all cos it was too sudden.
It was supposed to be after recess, and this shocking discovery got me O.o-ing at kimberly.
but anyway we had a longer recess since it also included bio period so...
blessing in disguise :DDD

sitting beside kimBLURly is so fun.
especially when wenting and shuqi are on my side to niao her :D
today wenting drew a picture of a 蟑螂 and named it kimberly.
and yesterday she was jinxed like for an hour?
how funny it was to see her sajiao-ing without speaking.
LOL.

physics remedial tomorrow!!!!
))):
and chem + physics remedial next week.
cos we are behind schedule. (say it in the ENDO~~thermic~~ way)

why are they cramming everything?
why not just do away with the remaining topics and let us start revising for eoys?

there had better not be a trigo 3 CT next week.

2009-09-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

don't moan over the losses, but thank God for the gains,
because:
our gains > our losses

God + us > us > problems

yay linear inequalities.
lol.

2009-09-21T21:14:00.000+08:00

An inspirational text:
...........
...........
...........

God : Hello. Did you call me?

Me : Called you? No ... who is this?

God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

Me : I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something ...

God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

Me : Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

Me : I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God : Well, I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

Me : Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Me : Why are we then constantly unhappy?

God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit.That's why you are not happy.

Me : But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me : But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty ...

God : Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me : If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.

Me : You mean to say such experience is useful?

God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me : But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?

God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons to Enhance Mental Strength.
Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me : Frankly, in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..

God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me : Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

Me : In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

Me : What surprises you about people?

God : When they suffer they ask, "Why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me". Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me : Sometimes I ask, Who am I, Why am I here. I can't get the answer.

God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

Me : How can I get the best out of life?

God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

Me : One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

Me : Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so happy to start the New Day with a new sense of inspiration.

God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts or doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me : Life is wonderful if you know how to live.

Reprinted by StopTurnWalk Publications Pte Ltd
With permission from YingHui

1 Corinthains 13: 1-7

2009-09-20T21:27:00.000+08:00

"Lately I've been hard to reach
I've been too long on my own
Everyone has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling me, are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me, and I'm reaching out for you
.......
I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humour
Everything is so tense and gloomier
I almost feel like I gotta check the temperature in the room
Just as soon as I walk in
It's like all eyes on me
So I try to avoid any eye contact
Cause if I do that then it opens a door to conversation
Like I want that...
I'm not looking for extra attention
I just want to be just like you
Blend in with the rest of the room
.......
Laugh at every single joke I crack
And half of them ain't even funny like that
Ahh Marshall, you're so funny man, you should be a comedian,
Unfortunately I am, but I just hide behind the tears of a clown "

-Beautiful (Eminem)

beautiful lyrics.
literally.
full of reality and not just some crap rap.
if you don't focus on the censored parts, you'll see the meaning.

Youtube: Beautiful - Eminem

2009-09-19T21:20:00.000+08:00

Today's service was...don't know how to say...刺心?
lol there is no such word kay.
the word cut through my heart like a double-edged sword.
lol.
一种无法描写的感觉.
aka 非笔墨所能形容的.
it's like so true.
that even though on the outside, everything seems futile, seems as if whatever effort you put in was all in vain.
all your labour, all your tears and sacrifices, all in vain.
seems as if no one sees it and no one appreciates it.
seems as if no one gives you even the slightest bit of affirmation, all you wanted was just a thank you.
seems as if people might think that you're slacking and all.
but God sees your efforts and will reward accordingly.

maybe people might think that I am a super lousy shepherd.
maybe people might think that as a C-La I am not doing much.
maybe people might think that I am throwing everything to sam.
But no matter what I have to be secure in God.
Cannot let what people think affect me.
(:
cannot.

a song that encourages me:

5 loaves and 2 fishes - Corrinne May

A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breadth that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small

anyway sam had a nightmare a few nights ago.
and it happened in nexus auditorium.
well, nightmare in my terms but maybe not in her terms.
lol.
she said I gave her a shy face when I said (whatever I said in the dream).
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
shy face ._.
yuck.
why would I give a shy face if that was what I was saying.
eeks.
see luh now I keep on thinking about it ._.
please don't ever let it happen.
no way no way no way.
never!

and I bought a new pick today.
2 new picks in fact.
one black and one red :D
my favourite colours.
and cool colours.
cos I lost my grey one lol.

2009-09-17T21:00:00.000+08:00

had chem and physics CT this week.
prepared to fail physics.
maybe even chem.
I studied okay.
I put in alot of effort for these 2 tests.
more effort than for other chem and physics tests.
well nvm.
as long as I can live up to my conscience can already.
((:
and it was actually fun doing the practise equations luh, so...
ya.

can't believe I'm enjoying the proving questions in trigo 3.
like prove that sec x = blah blah blah.
quite fun actually lol.
anyways mooncake festival celebration tomorrow.
:D
mooncakes rock.
especially the D24 durian flavour.

2009-09-13T21:21:00.000+08:00

sometimes things are blessings in disguise.
this holiday I got struck with an illness called marvelous gastric flu ._.
well it did keep me away from doing stuff that I wanted to do, ruining my holiday schedule plans.
but at least it allowed me to pay back my sleep debt.
heard of oxygen debt?
well this is sleep debt.
and I think I have paid it already.
cos I had to sleep to get well asap.
O.o

2009-09-13T20:49:00.001+08:00

sometimes I just feel like screaming.
Just feel like retaliating.
when I'm being made a scapegoat.
but God said in the bible: in your anger do not sin.
but sometimes I really feel like shouting back.
I'm trying my best to be damn patient and all and tolerate people kicking up a fuss in front of me.
Tolerating people who shout at me just to vent their anger.
I'm like trying my best.
There's no need to shout at me when things go wrong right.
I'm trying to be patient so the other party should also do their part.
or else one day I might just blow up and start throwing things around.
anger breeds anger.

2009-09-11T20:51:00.000+08:00

Was chancing upon some really inspiring stuff online.
credits to Inspirational Archive
many more uber cool stories found there.
just posting a few favourites here.

Leaders vs. Followers

{
When leaders make a mistake, they say, "I was wrong."
When followers make mistakes, they say, "It wasn't my fault."

A leader works harder than a follower and has more time;
a follower is always "too busy" to do what is necessary.

A leader goes through a problem;
a follower goes around it and never gets past it.

A leader makes and keeps commitments;
a follower makes and forgets promises.

A leader says, "I'm good, but not as good as I ought to be;"
a follower says, "I'm not as bad as a lot of other people."

Leaders listen;
followers just wait until it's their turn to talk.

Leaders respect those who are superior to them and tries to learn something from them;
followers resent those who are superior to them and try to find chinks in their armor.

Leaders feel responsible for more than their job;
followers say, "I only work here."

A leader says, "There ought to be a better way to do this;"
followers say, "That's the way it's always been done here."
}

Paid In Full

"A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box.

Curious, and somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold. Angry, he rose his voice to his father and said "with all your money, you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father's house, a sudden feeling of sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's important papers and saw the still gift-wrapped Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt.7:11, "And if ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,how much more shall your Heavenly Father which is in Heaven, give to those who ask Him?"

As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God's blessings because we can't see past our own desires?"

The Stone Cutter

[There was once a stone cutter who was dissatisfied with himself and with his position in life.

One day he passed a wealthy merchant's house. Through the open gateway, he saw many fine possessions and important visitors. "How powerful that merchant must be!" thought the stone cutter. He became very envious and wished that he could be like the merchant.

To his great surprise, he suddenly became the merchant, enjoying more luxuries and power than he had ever imagined, but envied and detested by those less wealthy than himself. Soon a high official passed by, carried in a sedan chair, accompanied by attendants and escorted by soldiers beating gongs. Everyone, no matter how wealthy, had to bow low before the procession. "How powerful that official is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a high official!"

Then he became the high official, carried everywhere in his embroidered sedan chair, feared and hated by the people all around. It was a hot summer day, so the official felt very uncomfortable in the sticky sedan chair. He looked up at the sun. It shone proudly in the sky, unaffected by his presence. "How powerful the sun is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the sun!"

Then he became the sun, shining fiercely down on everyone, scorching the fields, cursed by the farmers and laborers. But a huge black cloud moved between him and the earth, so that his light could no longer shine on everything below. "How powerful that storm cloud is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a cloud!"

Then he became the cloud, flooding the fields and villages, shouted at by everyone. But soon he found that he was being pushed away by some great force, and realized that it was the wind. "How powerful it is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be the wind!"

Then he became the wind, blowing tiles off the roofs of houses, uprooting trees, feared and hated by all below him. But after a while, he ran up against something that would not move, no matter how forcefully he blew against it - a huge, towering rock. "How powerful that rock is!" he thought. "I wish that I could be a rock!"

Then he became the rock, more powerful than anything else on earth. But as he stood there, he heard the sound of a hammer pounding a chisel into the hard surface, and felt himself being changed. "What could be more powerful than I, the rock?" he thought.

He looked down and saw far below him the figure of a stone cutter.]

2009-09-10T19:44:00.000+08:00

My mum showed me an article on Straits Times today about diarrhea cases in Singapore going up by 50% O.o
Apparently now my godmum has gotten the illness too.
but I'm kind of okay now.
just that I feel bloated.
oh gosh, I remember my junior had it too.
on the same day as me :/
but our only method of contact was through sms-ing lol.
she was like "Hi Cherisse I don't think I can go for tent pitching cos my stomach's really bloated, I can force myself to walk, but running..."
Then I was like "Hi I'm sick too and I have 2 days mc so I can't go either D:"
and we were exchanging get-well-soons.

having chem remedial tomorrow and then LA roleplay presentation rehearsal.
Yes, our group is not done with LA roleplay.
cos we had 3/5 BSP people going for some symposium on friday.
wonder why we were not made to stay back after school to finish up the presentation?
Cos we have a one-of-a-kind LA teacher O.o

anyways thanks for all the get-well-soons from people around me thanks for your concern (:
hope I don't throw up during chem tomorrow.
(too much intake for my ~~body~~ brain)
if you get what I mean.

touch wood.

2009-09-09T10:13:00.000+08:00

sick on a holiday haiz.
at least better than being sick on school days.
you'll miss out on all the fun in school.
and when you come back it seems as if you've missed out ALOT.
gastric flu and fever ._.
2 days mc which means I can't go for tent pitching course on thurs ):

pics specially for xintian who wants to know how my dogs look like lol.

Ecco.

Fuji.

hahaha xintian see I posted it just for you :D

anyway some pics from yesterday's mug date with sherly.

anyway, here's the joke of the century.

beautiful marks.
ownage.
yeah it belongs to me O.o
so I must work harder for eoys!
:D

2009-09-07T21:02:00.000+08:00

had mug date with sherly at bugis today.
hahaha something interesting happened.
I felt like a hero today :D
some guys were trying to flirt with sherly (in front of their gfs!) while she was waiting for me at kfc, and she was crying for help on sms.
so I went into kfc and grabbed sherly's bag out.
Then both of us went away and they just stared on O.o
then I was lecturing sherly about protecting herself and being conservative blah blah blah lol.
sherly! who asked you to wear until like that!
hahaha.

so we went to bras basah macs.
then sherly's stalker friend called her.
I picked up the phone and sternly told him that I was sherly's mum and that sherly was in the toilet.
then sherly told me that her mum was overseas and that he knew it O.o
so she called him up to clear things up lol.
joke sia.

anyway we also talked alot about our dark past.
lol.
It reminded me of all the stupid things that happened to me.
especially during last year ._.
funny how God had changed us.

thank God for this mug date.
make full use of my afternoon.

2009-09-06T15:22:00.000+08:00

yesterday we had jihe whole day.
quite a fun and fulfilling day.
during Camp D when p6 was building patrol flag, I thought that they didn't bring down their pegs cos they gave me the shocked look.
lol oops I'm blind luh :/

was quite proud of them for OJ, 3rd place!(:
wasn't with them for outdoor cooking cos I had to prepare OJ station.
Was minesweeper station master with cryst and sherlyn for OJ, and I could hear p6 cheering at the red tile area super loudly :D
oh btw when we were tying the minesweeper, I heard tabitha shouting at her year2s (they call it std 2s), and then cryst and I O.o-ed at each other.
my sheep there leh!
lol.
but didn't see her luh.
too busy tying minesweeper.
felt so tempted to climb and play on the minesweeper, but didn't luh lol.

well there are areas of improvement for the juniors, but yall are improving so jiayous(:

anyway my arm muscles ache like crazy.
worse than when I pump-ed 40 during that monday morning patrol activity.
but it was worth it(:
after jihe, I was smsing zhenling about p6's performance :D

anyway my juniors are enthu lol.

AMANDA (: says:
got see before
AMANDA (: says:
nvr do before

it's all over. says:
i did like less than half o.o
it's all over. says:
aww.

AMANDA (: says:
eh. lol better than me i still haven do yet.

a one of a kind holiday O.o says:
hahaha hmm maybe we can do minesweeper for patrol activity some time

it's all over. says:
yay(: do sheng qiao ;D ;D

AMANDA (: says:
yay! i want also

a one of a kind holiday O.o says:
oooo yall want learn shengqiao ah?

AMANDA (: says:
i want do fireman ladder

a one of a kind holiday O.o says:
very fun de!

it's all over. says:
fireman ladder!
it's all over. says:
yeah yeahh!

AMANDA (: says:
YES. i want
AMANDA (: says:
:D

a one of a kind holiday O.o says:
yall nvr do before meh?
a one of a kind holiday O.o says:
tht time yr4s plan for us

AMANDA (: says:
i wanna do again
AMANDA (: says:
:D

it's all over. says:
a few times only

AMANDA (: says:
LOL.

it's all over. says:
lols.

a one of a kind holiday O.o says:
oooo okays

it's all over. says:
haha

metamorphosis! :D :D :D :D
and mug date with sherly tomorrow!
guess where we are going before that?
To the old ghim moh campus.
Just to see the state of our old school.
Makes me feel so old :/

2009-09-04T21:56:00.000+08:00

Today I made a new friend.
she told me her name is Unvalued.

{
Me: Hi there you look troubled. What's your name?

Unvalued: Unvalued.

Me: Why such a name?

Unvalued: Cos I'm just unvalued.

Me: What do you mean?

Unvalued: well you see. I'm unvalued. In everything I do.

Me: Please elaborate.

Unvalued: I put in effort, I do my best, but no one cares about it, and they even think that I am slacking. I feel cheated, it's like all I wanted is just a Thank You, not like I want some freaking long essay of gratitude what ._. And not only do I not get a thankyou for anything I do, I am even being scolded ._. everyone I help is just so critical. They need help, I help them, and they think that my help is not good enough. They always focus on all my bad points, never talking about my good points.

Me: Well I think that all of us have good points and bad points. There is no one on this earth who is totally good or totally bad. If you can't find at least 1 good point and 1 bad point in a person, then you don't know him/her at all.

Unvalued: yeah true. but the thing is that I put in just as much effort as the people around me, but everyone else gets affirmation. Except me. Is the world against me or what? Or is it God who is against me?

Me:......... and why does everything you say sound uncannily like my life O.o
}

2009-09-03T20:58:00.001+08:00

I am exceedingly happy.
Cos no more tests for this term!!!!!!
Talk about short-lived happiness.
lol.
eh, EOYs in 40+ days luh lameo.
haiya.

anyway my math trigo 2 pop quiz.
shock sia.
didn't expect that.
7/10.
the rare times when my math can get A leh, must clap!
LOL.
was expecting like 3/10 or 4/10 cos I practically wrote rubbish throughout the whole 15minutes.
spent so long on that graph.

Anyway teasing Crystabelle is so fun.
I can not only practise my chinese oral, I can also be qian bian.
qian bian = creativity.
don't you think so hmm?
agreed right!
qian bian people are creative people cos they can make their stand evident through many means of expressions.
so if you want to hone your creativity, learn how to be qian bian :D
then it'll be 一举两得.
although certain individuals (e.g the one called cryst) refuse to appreciate the art of qian bian-ing, just be true to yourself.
a bonus would be to make the blood of these individuals boil and vapourise into the atmosphere so that other more artistic individuals can inhale some iron, which would be benefitial to our own blood.
well as you can see, the latent heat of vapourisation of their blood is in fact not a very significant value.

2009-09-02T21:32:00.000+08:00

had LA timed essay test today.
Was crapping throughout the whole essay.
stupid sheena sitting next to me wrote like super fast, could hear the sound of her scribbling pen O.o
haha but managed to finish before the last 15 minutes bah so quite okay.
but don't think I'll score for this cos I think my points abit irrelevant.
aiyah who cares "what's done is done." as quoted from Macbeth.

got maths trigo 2 CT and bio quiz tomorrow.
september holidays are like just next week but why am I not feeling anything?
not feeling any burst of forward-looking.
perhaps I have totally forgotten about the existence of september holidays O.o
time flies can.
it's EOYs.
again.
seemed so yesterday when it was dec 2008.
this year passed like super fast can.
just this year.

2009-08-31T20:51:00.000+08:00

was searching online for qian bian questions for (an event that shall not be named).
came across something very O.o
crystabelle asked me to post it on my blog.
so I shall post it specially for her ._.

Qns: There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil
got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?

Ans: The one without the rubber

._.
I don't get it.
I think I'm too innocent already *smiles innocently*
too child-like.

2009-08-29T21:25:00.000+08:00

Look back, be grateful that it had happened, giving you a chance to learn.
Look within, let go of the old and move on to something greater.
Look ahead, see God's power.
why compare?
We're not carbon copies of one another.
everyone's different.
chosen for different purposes.
what you are doing, is what only you can do.
oh my gosh today's sermon struck me like I-don't-know-how-to-say.

2009-08-26T22:04:00.000+08:00

Had a talk during pc yesterday about STIs and such.
So scary omg.
super scary.
blood test this blood test that.
很麻烦啦, 干脆不要结婚.
not like I want anyway.
I don't want kids.
I want adopt! :D
I've got a burden for the kids in the orphanages.
Losing their parents at such a young, tender age.
I don't mind being a single mum in the future and raising one orphan up just like that.
just like my mum.
not that I'm an adopted orphan ._.
it's just that what she has been doing all the while is technically like raising a child single-handedly, for 8 years.

remember when I was 7, my 3rd aunt and 3rd uncle took me out and when I was supposed to be back home, they took me to this unknown house.
my new house.
aka my current house.
that was when I found out that my parents were on the verge of divorce.
so it's like separation.
and at first I didn't feel anything, didn't understand.
until one day my dad came to my school to look for me, asked me to pass some letter to my mum.
I begin to feel like abit in-between, though I was still kind of ignorant.
my mum told me that when I grew older, I would understand why she had done it then. (yes, I do now.)
after the divorce, despite knowing the difficulty of being a single mum (as seen on ch8 dramas), she took custody of me.
gosh if she hadn't, I would probably be living with a relative, or maybe even in an orphanage?
oh gosh.
the 3-4 years after that incident was kind of weird to adapt to.
I was abit envious whenever I saw my friends having their dads fetch them home from school, whenever I saw their 全家福 photos, and secretly I was hoping for my mum to remarry, searching for that 'father's love'.
I was hoping for that 'whole and perfect' family.
Then as I became abit older, I realised that all these didn't really matter much anymore.
Pretty used to it right now.
mum's love is enough(:

anyways today I had a good talk with my pretty shepherd.
Talked about alot of stuff.
yeah makes sense.
they do make sense!
(:
sometimes I wonder why is my road is the road less travelled.
and yet on the road less travelled, there are even more bumps and humps and rocks and dead logs and avalanches when you least expect it.
and worse, ERPs ._.
but.
called for a purpose.
so shut the insecurities out.

realised that my sentences are getting shorter and more abstract O.o

2009-08-25T21:50:00.001+08:00

Hope you liked the apples.
hope you thought of the significance behind the apples while you munched lol.
Apples will change from yellow to red when they are ripe.
And become 有用的 apples which help to keep the doctor away.
I will patiently await the change(:

2009-08-23T09:35:00.000+08:00

this whole week I've been feeling super duper chui.
everything's been going down the sine curve.
look at my results.
I didn't fail terribly or what, but the thing is it's like one of the lowest in class.
you know that feeling when everyone is like super high and they get all excited in front of you.
At least failing with like 10 other people is better than being the only one who got 50% when the rest got like 70% and above ._.
Physics: 9/20
Bio: 16/30
those 2 were like my A+ subjects for sem 1.
probably the main problem was that I was not calm enough during the test.
I was super kan chiong.
for maths also.
cannot be like that anymore.

geog test and hcl yu wen ce yan next week ._.
ALOT of slides for geog.
and guess what.
this extra yu wen ce yan.
is only for a few classes.
and out of the few classes, we are the only class taking geog ._."

and aiyah I've been super buey song this week.
maybe cos of the I-don't-feel-valued feeling.
no one sees my efforts at all.
for anything.
in fact they even misunderstand.
eh why do I keep thinking negative ah?
maybe it's cos of all the emotions clogging up my mind.

went for combined service yesterday and was totally refreshed.
reminded at how to look at problems through the lens of faith.
and how to match them with deeds of faith.
Thank God for the refreshing service yesterday.
shall think more about it.

think positive but not impractical.
be a mod sin ax graph, where a is a positive real number.
even though there are ups and downs, but it'll not be negative.

jiayou!

2009-08-20T09:14:00.000+08:00

leading the patrol you grew up in was never going to be easy.
it is a struggle with the emotional alley of your mind.
you tend to compare yourself to the seniors before you.
trying to imitate them so as to make the 'change' not so obvious and awkward and hard to adapt to.
and whenever you see your juniors, you can't help thinking, "oh how they resemble me." in some things they do and say.
or maybe even the way they walk, the way they laugh.
hah or maybe even the way they sms.
3 years in here and you have seen people change, people grow up, people mature.
and you feel so proud of them.
you see your direct juniors becoming seniors, and when they talk to their juniors, you can't help but think, "haha this line seems so familiar, think I've heard it from my seniors before."
and when you see your own yr1s and yr 2s, you can't help but think back on those days in 2007 when you were the yr1s, having your yr2s protecting you and all.
making your yr3s and yr4s laugh and -.- and O.o at the silly things you did together.
can't help but feel like reliving it again.
cliche and cliche, but time really flies.
"time telepots." - zhenling

I feel so old O.o

anyway I just wanna affirm some people.
thankyou for being such a great encouragement and support.
thankyou for being obedient.
thankyou for being responsible.
thankyou for being responsive.
you guys never fail to make my day.
thank God for peace.

2009-08-19T20:21:00.000+08:00

it is time.
a risky enterprise.
well but it's for the better.
I hate to do this.
I seriously wished I never had to do this.
EVER.
but if I don't do it now.
it'll get worse.
and I don't want that to happen.
haiz cherisse just do it.
they will understand someday.
or maybe some of them already understand it now.
lol.
I don't know what will happen after this.
but it's the only way out.
they will understand someday.
don't worry(:

some things are just too dangerous.
too coincidental.
it's like the witches in macbeth positioning themselves so as to meet with Macbeth.
traps set by the devil.
oh no cherisse don't fall for them.
walk on the right path with God.
devil's stumbling people again :X

2009-08-18T21:44:00.001+08:00

haiya.
sometimes when all you need is a listening ear to whine to.
just to whine.
not to talk bad or gossip or what.
just to whine and let it all out.
and in the end the people whom you whine to say things like, "aiyah you're thinking too much."
or like, "aiyah it's just a small matter."
But you weren't even asking them to judge you or judge anyone.
just a listening ear to hear you whine it all out.
without passing any judgements.
is that so difficult to ask?
someone who understands...
I was searching for that the whole day.

thanks crystabelle.

2009-08-17T21:58:00.001+08:00

you plan to fail when you fail to plan.
how true.
so must plan(:
how come my posts are getting shorter and shorter O.o

2009-08-16T13:52:00.000+08:00

EDD yesterday was fun.
Did emcee-support for the first part.
Then went to station at the poster design classroom to help out.
Ran to and from the canteen to get food for people.
Then after that went back to the hall and poor sherly fell down the stairs ):
Ms Tang thought it was me who fell down lol.
Then was teasing sherly about (ahem) come and fetch her home hahahahahaha.

我没脸见人.
尤其是前三个人.
对自己失望.
为什么今年, 什么都变了?
难道一换到我们, 什么都会变?
was stunned on the spot.
heard something I'm sure zhenling jiawen jean had never heard before.
and something I hope me and the 接下来三个人, 几十几百个人 would never have to hear again.
but this must be resolved now and not emo-ed over.

heard about many other stuffs from others too.
but anyway all's not lost.
not yet.
We can fix it if we start fixing now(:
can de.

well then it's really time to get creative.
as quoted, trial and error.
jiayous!(:

2009-08-14T21:19:00.000+08:00

today I bueysong-ed my patrolmate.
wrote her a super lame post-it and asked shuqi to pass it to her.
threw eraser dust at her from my seat at the back of the class.
went off to change into pe attire without her.
then saw her at the canteen and dao-ed her.
sorry dear patrolmate.
thanks alot for kicking my ass.
lol.

2009-08-13T21:41:00.000+08:00

aiyah today is a nice day luh.
the whole world seems to be against me today.
aiz nevermind.
physics was like (okay let's not talk about it cos already minus more than 10 marks so it's equals to fail)
HCL hmm abit no confidence of even passing with a C can.

got back maths trigo CT.
very shocking.
one of the biggest shock of my life with results.
cos results haven't really affected me that much these few months. (cos they're all expectedly bad, like you get the feeling when you know you're gonna fail)
note that my fail is the REAL fail.
not the (i-got-an-A-but-i-want-A+) kind of fail.
was expecting maybe a C for this maths CT or something.
and in the end...
......................................
(an error occured: results too shocking to be revealed for fear of triggering cardiac arrest)

*******************************************************

anyways today was a hectic day.
collecting cookie order forms and money and collating and I was totally luan.
cos while I was counting and re-checking the stuff in class after morning assembly, helaoshi suddenly walked in and said, "class, please separate your tables" in chinese.
then I just chucked all that mess into my already messy file, hoping that they would clear the mess themselves.
super luan day.

music calms the most tired and anxious soul.
so does some talking and chatting.
edd prep tomorrow.
decor stuff.
actually decor is really fun(:
art calms the most tired and anxious soul too.

2009-08-12T21:54:00.000+08:00

maybe all I really need to do now is talk.
not talk crap.
talk real stuff.

2009-08-08T21:14:00.000+08:00

National day celeb in school was totally cool yesterday.
Community singing was fun with 3J peeps and a few guides.
Class based activities were great too.
My group won!
haha.
and got 2 lollipops each.

had lunch with claire mich cryst at kfc.
cryst talk crap + nonsense + I don't know what.
she's liar liar pants on fire.
lol.
went to bugis to laminate poster with michelle.
something funny happened on the bus.
we just went in and started talking about pltc days and michelle was going on and on about he-who-must-not-be-named.
then after like 15 minutes, we realised liying was also in the bus.
haha michelle.

eb2b huddle was cosy and really a good time of family-ish fellowship with leow sam mich laura.
yeah haha.

going to singapore flyer with mum tomorrow to see fireworks :D

2009-08-07T21:01:00.000+08:00

There are times when I recall the past and wish to relive those times again.
Go back to the days when all I cared about was studies and how to level up as fast as possible in maple.
Back to when everything was so simple.
Not that I'm very complicated now lol.
Just less simpler than before.
Was talking to jess just now and was reminded of all those times in the old mount sinai campus, when cg venues were like at any random place we can find?
canteen. eds room. grandstand. even that bench outside container classroom.
eating popiah and walking to buona vista station together after cg.
that time when all I needed to do for cg was like maybe games or food?
well I knew that someday I had to do THIS, but at that time, my 'someday' was like at least 2-3 years later?
but God's plan was not my plan lol.
never knew it'd be in a year, so many things have changed.
compare august 2008 and 2009, totally different.
well jess and I agree that we have somehow lost our child-like faith.
the simpler things haha.
back when shepherding with leow was all about faith, commitment, etc.
now shepherdings with leow will never miss out the very important C-word and S-word.
Courage. Step out.

sometimes I wonder where would I be, what I'd be doing if not for all my chosen paths in life.
But behind those choices, there are reasons.
Many people believe that one's destiny is decided by God, however I believe that He has given each and every one of us a free will of choice to lead our life.

The road less travelled?
As jess said, true joy and true sorrow.
I totally agree with that mann.
So I must focus on the true joy rather than the true sorrow(:
though sometimes it's inevitable.
not like I'm always 100% positive all the time right.
We're transition elements, not postively charged metals.
Cos if we were postively charged metals, there'd be no such thing as emo and sadness.
lol too much chem liao.
just that our emotions shouldn't affect us too much.

cry and emo for an hour, but spend the next hour planning how to pick yourself up(:

2009-08-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is National Day Celebration!
anyway I'm like super duper happy that week 6 tests are overrrrrrrr.
had a fun time decor-ing with guides for edd prep today(:
I like decor.
lol.
have been in decor for like more than 5 times and I always enjoy it :D
if I didn't join guides, I wouldn't have discovered the joy of decor-ing haha.

oh mann I still owe a lunch to crystabelle :X
shhhh don't tell her.
I shall ask algorithm to treat cryst the lunch :D

aiyah I shall heck care about tests already luh.
anyways sitting next to kimberly is fun cos can squish her bones before tests :D
haha bought some post-its today.
so that I can play with them.
and stick on people's foreheads and backs :D

anyway I'm gonna wear kezo class tee tomorrow!
cos it's red.
yay whole class wearing.

soon.
just soon.
just hang in there.
it'll be over.
soon.

2009-08-03T20:58:00.000+08:00

Interesting week ahead.
Test schedule:
Tues - Ace test + Jap test
Thurs - Chem test + Maths Test
got 63 for hcl lol.
not bad for my kind of standard.
jiayous for next time lor.

assembly today was interesting.

ironically, I can't wait to give my (insert suitable plural noun) to them.
haha.

anyway.
talked to sam about some cg stuff and we digressed ALOT ._.
lol.

Live everyday as a fun day and you'll be contented :D

2009-08-01T20:40:00.000+08:00

Presents from my beloved patrol.

in the message, zhenling and pearlyn called me "masheng that holds p6 together by bringing the juniors closer to us".
but I think they are yingshengs(:
the yingshengs that hold p6 together.
the yingshengs that support us on the shengqiao, strong and sturdy, never breaking under our weight.
the yingshengs that tie themselves super tight to a railing on a higher ground, letting us climb up to greater heights and never becoming loose.
the yingshengs that wrap around us tightly on the fireman's chair so that we can be pulled out of wherever we're being trapped in.
though the yingshengs are no longer ours physically, but in our hearts they will always be OUR yingshengs who have seen us through from the very beginning of guides.

yesterday claire and I were trying super hard to control our tears during the more emo performaces, cos as emcees, abit awkward if we suddenly break down ._.
but when zhenling pearlyn kimberley spoke, I just remembered everything I had gone through with them and p6, and couldn't control anymore luh.
how weird it'll feel without the sec4s.
maybe when one of my juniors ask a question, I would reply, "I think it's better for you to ask zhenling or pearlyn.", which is what I always do cos I scared later tell them wrong info ._.
and then suddenly I realise.
oh ya hor.
oh ya hor.
can't do that anymore ):

independence.
responsibility.
perseverance.
confidence.

okay sec3s let's jiayous!
no use wallowing in the leaving of our sources of reassurances.
we gotta move on.
can't live in emo-ness for too long.
though it might not be so easy to get used to immediately :X

2009-08-01T09:59:00.000+08:00

"This is the end already? So soon?"
"Nope, it's just the beginning. One door closes, and another opens."

Had pdp yesterday.
somehow doesn't feel like the very first pdp I attended in 2007.
dont know leh, like kind of abrupt.
like "huh? finished already?" kind of feeling.
but well it was quite a nice time hanging out with p6 for dinner(:

I still don't feel quite used to seeing white colour stuff on my guides uni.
still feels so sudden.
can't set it in.
lol.

the concert was quite cool.
year1s had a very touching part 2(:
year2s sang 'you raise me up' and it was so sweet.
year3s had the bbyd kind of talk at the end of our performance!
wanted to put it as 'opening ceremony' at the beginning but due to overrun so ._.
but still had the bbyd thingy while we gave out the year4s' gifts.

wasn't it just like yesterday when we were writing cards to jiawen and jiajia?
wasn't it just like yesterday when zhenling and pearlyn just became our pl and ps?
wasn't it really yesterday when I was still standing all the way at the back, in front of pearlyn, between xintian and eileen, and behind sally?
and in that same 1/2 hour I was suddenly standing in front of grace, between michelle and claire, and behind nobody.
in that same day the 8 of us plus sweeyee were suddenly doing what we have previously seen countless of times happen at the end of jihes.
the scene and sound of zhenling saying it was still in my head.
and I'm sure it would have been in the junior's heads too.
it just felt so sudden.
so fast.
it'll feel so weird to do this without the sec4s ):

exchanged gifts after break off.
thankyou to all!
so beautiful.
pics in the next post.

thankyou year4s for everything and we will miss you.
thankyou for believing in each and everyone of us.
and also to my patrol sec4s zhenling pearlyn and ex patrol sec4 kimberley, thank you for believing in p6(:
once and ixorian, forever an ixorian.
I knew this day would come, but I didn't know it would come and go so quickly.

2009-07-29T21:30:00.000+08:00

These few days have been full of chiongness and everything.
life is pretty much okay, albeit settling and chionging some unfinished business that need to be finished like really soon.
maths has been totally hypnotising me.
well not a surprise, since I have maths everyday this week.
that equates to 5 hours of maths + maths assignments + maths notes.
so should be like 6 hours?
even for that pc thing (which was immediately after maths) where we supposed to define kindness.
I wrote:
(infinity sign)km - kindness goes a long way.
k/0 (fraction form) - kindness is undefined.
well since in maths, anything divided by 0 is called undefined O.o
maths is driving me crazy!!!

sine sine cosine sine
3.14159
tangent 20 tangent 9
P1 never lag behind! (or p4 never lag behind)

omg trigonometry brings back atc 08 and pltc and coj memories.

run.
run far far away.
hide.
but you fail to run away and hide from it.
cos the more you run, the more frequently it appears.
the more you hide, the more it finds you.

2009-07-27T21:27:00.000+08:00

today is a fun day.
tomorrow will be much more fun.
life is full of happiness wheeeeee :D
it's just a matter of whether we notice the happiness.

during the so called assembly which was held in class, I learnt quite alot of stuff.
Which I'm glad I heard.
Cos it really reminded me about my life.
We're living everyday as it is.
doing routine things like studying, chionging projects and homework etc etc.
but while focusing too much on certain things, we are actually missing the point on other stuff.
that's why we need to take time off to smell the roses.
and then we'll find that the roses are actually abundant and really sweet-smelling :D
if life is all about chionging this and that and everything, then might as well not have a life, since there is no purpose to doing so.
but the thing is that, we ARE living.
living a life.
and this shows that we DO have a purpose in life.
have you ever wondered what your purpose in life is?
well if you haven't, stop and think right now.
amidst all the hustle and bustle of life, there MUST be a purpose, or else you won't be living to this very day.
what do you think YOUR purpose is? (:

2009-07-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

hope you liked the card today :D
don't throw it away or else you will have no evidences of my promises.
muahahaha.
all hail sally the great!((:

2009-07-22T20:56:00.000+08:00

WOW.
free lunch for cryst -.-
there goes my buffet O.o

2009-07-21T22:04:00.001+08:00

I'm beginning to fall in love with the arts.
express myself.
design a scrapbook.
express myself.
write a poem.
express myself.
break out into a song.
express myself.
dance to the rhythm.

express with the arts((:

I realise that I do feel very happy after doing those.
haha.
Never really noticed the joy I experience while playing with artsy fartsy stuff until recently :D

2009-07-20T22:04:00.000+08:00

Today was an interesting day with interesting lessons.
wow what a day to remember haha.
Geog was fun cos we got to draw our own utopic singapore land use plan.

and bio was the coolest among all!!!!
bio practical owned all today.
we dissected a pig's heart.
our class was divided into groups of 5. (omg I almost typed 'dissected' instead of 'divided' :X)
and my group had isabel mingwei sally shihui.
we were super enthu hahaha!!!
we took pictures!!!
it was so fun.
felt like the macbeth witches lol.
and felt like surgeons.
if I were to ever become a surgeon, the patient would die cos I couldn't cut a straight outline O.o
mingwei wanted to finish it off O.o
but it was really a good experience doing this for the first time and learning so much more about the insides of the heart.
(pictures below: not for the faint-hearted)

(the full pig's heart)

(process of dissection) looks like butchering O.o

(halved) the black stuff are coagulated blood

(coagulated blood from the heart)

credits to shihui for helping us take photos(:

"eh, how can you be so cruel to cut your own heart?"
hahahaha lol.

"out damn spot, out!"
said by lady macbeth when she was trying to wash 'Duncan's blood' off her hands.
LOL.

2009-07-19T15:38:00.000+08:00

http://mysummertimediaries.blogspot.com

go to Jun 26 2008.
omg I'm such a jerk :X
sorry dear junior.
and also sorry to all the pltc flaming and etc.
ah well.
immature kiddo I was.
gah feel like burying my head under somewhere, someplace, somehow.
hahahaha.
anyway I am looking for mean quotes from my old blog and compile them for something really special :D
the problem is not about finding the quotes, it is about selecting the quotes to use :X
too many mean quotes liao oops :X
it's for _________ on wed.
haha.
This is the first time I'm doing something like that for a _________.
haha so excited!!
visual aid + audio aid lol.

2009-07-18T21:44:00.000+08:00

Was editing the (insert suitable plural noun).
I almost wanted to cry.
Literally, each word doc was reduced from 2 full pages to 1 page.
Thanks to h1n1.
if not things would go on as planned.
but well, life is unpredictable.
Really sorry.
It's like we promised a surprise, but now due to h1n1, the recipients can only receive half of what was actually planned )):
maybe I shouldn't have promised her a surprise so early and got her all high in levels of suspension and excitement.
giving her the idea that she had something really super great to look forward to.
now I don't know how to tell her that it has to be halved.

but well, hope you'll understand yeah(:
don't worry, we'll make up for it as best as we can using all our limited time and resources ((:

Hi Sally it's gonna be just me and you.
Let's stand by each other kay? :DDDDDD

I still remember chengyee.
and I miss her.
still remembered that lame thrashing out session lol.
Well perhaps it was of abit of use.
I began to open up more to sally aka my I-don't-really-like-her-girl turned best sec3 patrolmate lol.
omg remembering chengyee reminds me of my sec1 and sec2 days.
what a jerk I was.
Feel like slapping myself after reading all my sec1 and sec2 blog posts at my old blog.
Why was I like that last time omg I can't recognise myself and I don't want to! :X
stupid girl.
if I had a junior like my sec1 and sec2 self, I would have jumped off the building in a few months.
lol.
so I must say that my seniors are really super patient people.
I wouldn't have been able to handle that kind of junior I was in sec1/2.
But of course I haven't seen any juniors like that.
but well, memories are worth keeping, so I ain't gonna delete those archives from my old blog.
but well, I can't stop emphasising the fact that I wish I could go back in time and slap my sec1/2 self and talk some sense into her.
haha.
it's fun to reminisce about the past.

makes me feel so old luh O.o
it was only 1 or 2 years ago lor.
But it seemed so long ago.

2009-07-17T21:11:00.000+08:00

Had bio and LA quiz today.
The dramatic irony is that the one which I had less confidence in, I think I'm gonna do better in it O.o
confused?
well it just means that I thought I would screw up bio quiz more than LA quiz, but it turns out that my LA might turn out to be worse than my bio.
haha nvm let's not talk about studies.

so the day(s) have been made known.
but anyway I shall not be bothered too much.
Just live and let live.
The only thing I hope for is to win my bets so that I can gain a week's supply of free drinks for lunch PLUS one day free lunch.
I will choose the day with 1hr recess.
aka Day 1.
yay then can go eat buffet :DDDDD
jap food + mee siam + peach tea nata + can't think of anymore right now.
can slowly eat mann :D
omg such a glutton lol.
maybe I shall go buy somemore 'TOTO' or '4D' then maybe can get more free food!!

talking about LA quiz, I was reminded of the 3 witches in Macbeth.
gosh am I obssessd over them or what?
I mean it's like I really think they are totally cool.
They are sort of like playing with a puppet show.
Red Thread?
haha.
and they predict the future to some extent.
or could it just be a mere suggestion of the future and a kind of instigation to Macbeth? O.o
"All hail, Macbeth! Hail to thee, Thane of Glamis!"
"All hail, Macbeth! Hail to thee, Thane of Cawdor!"
"All hail, Macbeth, that shalt be King hereafter!"

Armed Head: "Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth! beware Macduff!"
Bloody Child: "none of woman born shall harm Macbeth."
Crowned Child: "Macbeth shall never vanquished be until Great Birnam Wood to high Dunsinane Hill shall come against him."

hahahaha wow.
"double, double, toil and trouble; fire burn, and cauldron bubble."

2009-07-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

Claire and I have deviously planned how to bomb the parade square by using what we have learnt from trigonometry.
We have found out which angle is the best to shoot by measuring the angle of depression from the hall to the parade square.
Using cosine rule, we have found out the distance the bomb needs to travel from the hall to the parade square.
hahahahaha.
lol kidding.
maths is getting too much into me O.o

2009-07-15T21:45:00.000+08:00

yay I screwed maths test today.
people who don't know how to do qns 5 ONLY but know how to do the rest,
let me tell you that your 'confirm 5 marks' lost is nothing compared to mine cos I lost much more than you.
hope this will comfort you mann :D
if only I could be like you and tell myself that I have 'confirm 5 marks' lost.
rather than telling people, "I have lost 5 marks plus that question plus that sub question plus another sub question, aiyah don't need to count how much I lost already lah."
LOL.
but well you guys are just lucky people blessed with smarty brains just perfect for maths(:
haha.
actually I don't even care about the maths test anymore since it's over.
it's over mann and I can face up to my conscience and say that I did my best(:

anyway today's PC was about some video about STI awareness.
that made me all the more convicted to become a nun, go to some third world country and spend my whole life there helping people.
okay I'm kidding.
'Sister cherisse' just doesn't sound right.
haha.

okay now to some serious topics.
haha not that serious luh.
just about dreams again.
well, it's like in a few weeks, I have already got like 3 or 4 blog posts about dreams O.o
Okay so this early morning, like before the alarm woke me up.
I had a dream.
lol.
what I'll type here is a censored version.
it goes like:
I was on the escalator at tm with Person A and Person B.
Person A asked me a question (the whole question shall be censored).
My answer was Person C and Person D.
Person A said 'ya.'
Person A then asked Person B the same question cos Person B didn't hear my answers.
Person B's answer was Person C and *I forgot who* :X

LOL.
if you want the uncensored version of the dream, contact me personally :D

wow there has been like lots of dreams about the same thing.
who's dreams will be the most accurate? :D
lol.
it's 7 dreams from 5 people.
each of them had 1 each except mine, I had 3 O.o
3 different dreams lol.
But to be fair, I shall pick one out of the 3.
and I'll pick the most recent one aka the one above cos I think it's the most accurate :D
lol I'm so wuliao O.o

2009-07-14T22:00:00.000+08:00

jap test was O.o today.
Got alot of mistakes already but aiyah nvm.
I did my best.
and I did put in effort to study.
in fact I must say that among all my jap tests this year, this was the one that I put in the most effort to study for it.
polynomials tomorrow.
whatever the outcome, I know I did my best.

anyways tomorrow is gonna be a really cool day.
don't tell you why((:
2 digit.
change of plans.
Five plus five.
those are some keywords hahaha.
Sam let's jiayous!! ((:
let's make our shepherd cry with joy wheeee.
lol.

2009-07-13T21:33:00.000+08:00

Take a look at my test schedule this week mann.

Mon: 语文考查 (a nicer phrase to replace 听写 -.-)
Tues: Jap CA4
Wed: Maths Polynomials CT

and there's still chem QA and LA macbeth quiz -.-
LA should be on thursday or friday.
that means I have 5 tests this week wow.
Average of 1 test per day.

It's okay, I won't die.
Cos I have strength from another realm(((:
I can get through this week mann.

Everytime I hear someone mention that topic.
Everytime I hear someone asking me that question.
it really breaks my heart.
Because it reminds me of that thing.
It reminds me of what used to be.
And what has changed.
I really don't want to think about it for now.
And I'm sure many of us feel the same way too.

If only everything could just stay the way we are then everything would be fine.
But well, I guess we do have to step out of our comfort zones, cos change brings about growth.
Much as I detest it.
If only we could keep on hitting the restart button, then we would never have to get to this level.
But life ain't a game.
There are no on/off buttons to begin with.
what more restart buttons?
Well but if we keep on hitting restart buttons, we'll never clear the end stage.
We'll always be at the second last level of completion.
And we'll never learn how to complete the last level.

Gosh I don't know what I am talking about O.o

speaking LA-ish again lol.

2009-07-10T20:39:00.000+08:00

Haha was tube-hopping for videos about the Ku Klux Klan (let me refer to them as KKK for subsequent references)
anyway I didn't really know much about the KKK.
In year one we had some research assignment on Animal Farm stuff, and somehow one of my group members just came up with this KKK connection.

"Ku Klux Klan (KKK), informally known as The Klan, is the name of several past and present secret militant organizations in the United States whose avowed purpose was to protect the rights of and further the interests of white Americans by violence and intimidation. "

full info found at Wikipedia

Link

it's a must watch.
entertaining and funny.
but there is something to learn from it.
great video.
That state leader he was talking about was really brave.
a pity I can't catch his name lol.
Reverend Waytworts?
No I think that's spelled wrongly.
Loving people who hated him.
Quoted, "God bless you Johnny, you can't do enough to me to make me hate you!"
and then no matter what they did to him, he gave them back some chirpy cheery reply that left them speechless.
can imagine the scenes hahahaha.
always positive, although now people's first reaction would be, "is that guy siao or what? people hantam him, he still so happy?"
But I think what the state leader did must have made God smile.
lol.
That one guy's actions actually changed the perception of the group that was opposing him.
and he did not use revenge to fight back at them.
admirable courage.

anyway was talking to nic ahma online just now.
She was telling me about their new physics teacher who was an ex-dunmanian scout and married an ex-dunmanian guide.
and then nic said Eileen was squealing and complaining away the moment she heard that O.o
Mrs Tan also married an ex-dunmanian scout what.
lol.
then nic said Eileen must learn the art of not revealing her identity lol lol lol.

2009-07-10T19:55:00.000+08:00

Wow today ended school at 1045 but it seemed so long even though the only actual lesson for 3J was maths -.-
cos we had 1 hr pe + 30min recess.
anyway 3J I'm so glad to see you guys again!!!
now the class doesn't look so empty anymore((:
which is great.

anyway pdp rehearsal ended earlier than I had expected lol.
had alot of fun there, I missed you girls!
haha anyway now I hear 2 sides of the story.
D******* vs P********** (ask me personally if you want to know what they stand for :D)
who should I believe?
haha I shall not care so much for now.
lol.

anyway I realised I made quite a few bets with people.
and all the bets boil down to free lunch if either of us win hahahaha.
of course the free lunch thing was initiated by me :DDDD
cos I just love food so much.

sixth sense.
premonition.
foreshadowing.
wow they sound like really dark words.

this feeling is so not right mann.

visions.
dreams.
prophecies.
yeah, they sound so much better((:

why does something feel not right?
No, let it be wrong.
please.
If it comes true I will freak out big time.
cos it would mean that my dreams/premonitions/foreshadowing/sixth sense are from another realm.
ohmygosh.

gah stop thinking.
dreams are just dreams.
yeah.

2009-07-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

You think we're all hyped up over h1n1.
that suddenly, masks become more commonly seen.
masks sales have gone up.
But I'll tell you something.
The world has been wearing masks long before h1n1 arrived.
Invisible masks.
Masks that hide our faces.
What we truly are.
It may be a big mask, small mask, fanciful mask, simple mask.
But the bottom line is.
It is still a mask.
To tell the truth, if I could choose, I'd rather just totally be myself and wear a surgical mask my whole life then wear an invisible mask to hide who I truly am inside.
Because you can't keep that invisible mask of yours on your face for your whole life.
One day, you will either be forced to take it off, or it will be taken off by someone.
Fakes will be found out sooner or later.
trust me.
Even if you wear an invisible mask and get what you want, you will never be happy.

For what is seen is temporary, and what is unseen is eternal.

WOW.
Why do I sound so LA-ish?
O.o

anyway I just wanna thank my one and only sec3 patrolmate Sally for being super honest with me and for letting me be super honest with her.
for taking off her mask in front of me and letting me take off my mask in front of her.
(it is up to you to decide whether I meant it literally or metaphorically :D)
but Sally knows what I mean(:

2009-07-08T21:55:00.000+08:00

Let me clarify something.
3J DOES NOT HAVE ANY H1N1 CASE.
yup.
does that clear it all? (:
stop the rumours from spreading mann.
They're spreading faster than h1n1!!!
LOL.
If you're worried, 3J can come to school with MASKS on friday :D

2009-07-08T21:29:00.001+08:00

mass convo with like 10 3J peeps now O.o

2009-07-08T20:32:00.000+08:00

I told you my life is getting more and more interesting.
let's start off with the more normal snippets of my idmi week.
Well so it was just the three of us non-bsp kias.
Sheena, Isabel, me.
We were quite efficient luh :D
finished the draft ppt and script yesterday.
today we added about 30s of a new scene into the film.
and so here's the interesting thing.
ready to hear it?
ready?

WHOLE OF 3J QUARANTINED FROM SCHOOL TOMORROW.
yes.
no joke.
if it was a joke I would have said, "biggest joke of the century."
but it's true.
15 fever cases liao )):
so, no idmi presentation for 3J peeps tomorrow.
thus, I can't go for the pdp rehearsal and I can't meet my sheeps tomorrow either )):
stuck at home tomorrow lol.
My group was so happy that we had the earliest time slot for tomorrow's idmi presentation.
cos we can just get it over and done with.
and end early.
and then h3nJ had to take a turn for the worse ):
so we can't go to school tomorrow.

my heart goes out to the 15 sick 3J peeps.
rest well kay((:
3J is all in this together! :D
The first class in dhs to be quarantined!
(if there is even anything to be proud of lol)

Dear Lord I pray for my beloved class 3J that You bless all the sick people and make them well and strong and healthy and jumpy again so that we will not be living on tenterhooks everyday and cause other classes and teachers to worry! Amen.

3J peeps, pray to whichever god you believe in, quick quick!!
hahaha.

2009-07-07T21:47:00.000+08:00

the assessment schedules are up on dhsmail.
scam luh.
it was supposed to be sent on monday.
which was yesterday.
my idmi mates and I were thinking they'd send it by Monday 6th July 11.59PM.
haha.
anyway we were saying (insert suitable name) would not be an assessor at all.
our film had the line, "hurry up, my (insert suitable noun) can act faster than you!" in one of the scenes.
oops.
in the end he turned out to be one of the assessors.
but thankfully not ours :D
hehe.
if not, "Everybody in this ~~class~~ group is dead meat."
oops.

hey 3J peeps please take care of yourselves!!
12 down leh )):
that's 1/3 of the class.
take lots of fruits kay((:
especially cherries.
bunches and bunches of them.
red, purple whatever colour.
they work the best.
cos they resemble my name :D

2009-07-07T16:00:00.000+08:00

Claire is uncontactable )):
二老婆, where are you????
eloped with (insert suitable name)??
Or did he kidnap you? :D
omg no way mann.

二妈 is dao-ing my smses too!!
eh. important stuff on the sms okayy.
关于 XX 表演的一些事.
it seems very long later but it's not!

Tammy 爸 is being bias again.
took picture with 大妈 but not 二妈.
put as display pic somemore!
我就跟你学吧!
别怪我对其中一个老婆偏心 :D

Nic 阿妈 MIA.
and I bet 大老婆 is still thinking about super junior.
全家人都在 dao 我 -.-

我头有点痛 ):
先去睡吧 :D

2009-07-06T20:01:00.000+08:00

Idmi was cool today.
We finished all the touching-ups of our film yay :D
and more or less finished the ppt.
so now we're left with our script ahh.
anyway, I was suanning sheena all the way thoughout hahahaha.
telling her how much her film character is contrasting to her real life person.
lol.
and I realised our film reminds me of BOF.
only that this one was an all-girls thing.
Sheena is like JH.
then Yibei is like JD.
then Wen Yi, Ling Rong and me are like JP, YJ, WB.
sheena is so not JH.
she is more like JP lor.
spoilt brat.
whiny.
haha.
LOL jk.
hahahahaha.

after talking to my shepherd leow, I realised how lucky I am.
To be able to have my own room, my own personal space.
and to be able to live with my mum.

yeah appreciate life's little things(:
"珍惜一切就算没有拥有" - 稻香 jay chou
a very meaningful song.
treasure it, even if you don't own it.

well, I am not gonna suffer in silence.

2009-07-05T22:03:00.000+08:00

Meeting idmi group mates tomorrow at tamp!
the bestest thing is.
only 3 of us tomorrow.
cos the other 3 have bsp idmi.

11 cases in 3J!!!
not h1n1 -.-
it's a new 3J pandemic.
you can call it the jigglypuff flu.
or the jigglypuff fever.
or whatever name you want.
BUT.
it is NOT h1n1 I tell you first(:
it might be h2n2 :D
or h3nJ.
if there is even such a name lol.

possible causes of the 3J pandemic.
stress.
boring lessons.
silence and too much dao-ism.
HAHA.

symptoms.
you look perfectly fine and jumpy on one day and the next day you get fever.

cures.
just keep on ego-ing.
more effective if you do it on sms to the person you miss most in 3J :D
and at night.
Wen Ting has proven that this cure works(((:

2009-07-05T09:10:00.000+08:00

Just woke up from a very weird dream.
I dreamt that I was in some chalet room.
with a group of friends.
the room had no toilet O.o
then me and another girl went out of the room to go to the toilet.
and when we came back, everyone was missing.
so we were sure they were hiding somewhere.
we searched under the 2 beds.
no one.
then we opened the cabinet and found them.
and I forgot what they said already lol.

but anyway the point is.
there's this person I have never talked to face to face before.
and this person has appeared in 3 dreams of mine this year -.-
and in these dreams, it appears as if we're good friends.
that's really weird.

haha dreams are weird luh.

2009-07-03T18:07:00.000+08:00

whoo so happy!!
school ended at 1145 today.
cos start of idmi week.
took 30mins trying to get the video to the com to edit lol.
cut from a 7 min ++ film to 5 min 30s.
30s more!!!

anyway pdp is most probably week 3 lerh.
yay!
more time to plan surprises!! :DDDDDD
haha oops I mean there are no surprises.
yeah.
just those normal stuff everyone would expect.
nothing surprising about that.
(:

interesting thing happened in 3J.
10 absentees today.
out of that, 9 had fever/flu and were at home.
that's 1/4 of the class wow.
actually wed already had about maybe 3 or 4.
then thurs about 6 or 7.
now about 9.
O.o
so many that mrs teng had to come to our class and get some stats done about their presence during the week.
everyone was thinking whether or not 3J would be quarantined.
LOL.
quarantine 3J alone not enough lor.
not like we didn't come into contact with our friends these few days.
and not like our friends didn't come into contact with other people these few days.
hahahahaha.
lol am I scaring people?
aiyah we are responsible people luh.
if we don't feel well, we stay at home lor.

2009-07-02T20:47:00.000+08:00

interesting life I have.
seriously.
haha just came up with a half done family tree with some of the girls.
LOL.
the best part is that I'm with Crystabelle and Claire :D
whooo lol.
C and C and C -.-

just had a look at the jie4 item proposal sent by the item ics.
so cool!! :D
shan't disclose anything!((((:

well maybe sometimes, a risky enterprise is needed.
I don't know, but sometimes risks have to be taken.
Not to always stick to the safe side.
The expected choice.
The politically correct one.
Because after all, if we don't take risks, we'll never fail, and we'll never learn.
Failure is not the end of the world.
It's an opportunity to learn again.
Making mistakes is a way for people around you to learn too.

2009-07-01T21:17:00.000+08:00

I told you.
I told you so.
I told you so so so so so so so.
told ya my life is interesting.
told ya that I get surprises everyday.
life is really unexpected yeah haha.
Got an email that I'd never expect to receive.
No, leading to that, it was an sms first.
An unexpected sms that required me to read my email.
so I read an unexpected email.
shan't disclose too much info on that(:

and I'm sad that next friday is youth day celeb instead of idmi.
think I'm crazy right?
cos that was what it was supposed to be according to the schedule the school gave us to paste in our handbooks.
idmi days were supposed to be next monday to friday.
but if you are a sec3 guide, you'll understand why we'd want idmi next friday instead of a youth day celeb...
cos if idmi is next friday, the thing will most probably be in week 3 mah((((:
not week 2.
well but it's good that lessons end at 11.45 this friday and after that it'll just be idmi project discussions etc(:

anyway another interesting thing about my life.
Sally and I were discussing patrol sec4s pdp gifts during recess, and we have come up with cool and exclusive gifts for our dear sec4s Zhenling and Pearlyn :D
hahahahaha.
exclusive.
haha it might seem kinda weird and retarded but I think it'll be memorable gift :D
something unexpected :DDDD
shall not disclose yay :D
I love surprises lol.
because surprises make me surprised :D

2009-06-30T21:23:00.000+08:00

I can't believe my life is getting more and more interesting.
Surprises and more.
hahaha.
Today the seating plan changed again.
As in just a minor one.
The people on my left and right exchanged place with each other.
So yup I have a new seating partner now.
phew.
at least like that I won't be so freaked out by that dream.
(not a personal attack hor)

and while waiting for the train at city hall, I was recalling that time a few months ago when I went home together with Sabrina after jap.
and we were talking and talking about lots of stuff.

in my mind I was thinking, "how nice if she were with me today."
and then, suddenly I saw this girl in AYG shirt waving to me.
It was Sabrina!!!!!
omg omg omg.

I tell you that's how interesting my life is getting.
Everyday is full of surprises.
wow.
I'm actually looking forward to school can you believe it?
O.o
anyway, I love school day mornings :D
cos I'm with the girls(:
They never fail to make a good start to my school day.
And that's why, before morning assembly, when I step into 3J, I am always filled with happiness(:
you girls are like my sunshine.
can't live without a dose of it every school morning.
hahahaha.

yeah and another interesting thing about my life right now?
We're in the midst of discussing our pdp performance item.
and we're so so so excited about the ideas that have poured in continuously!!!!
hahahaha.

shan't reveal much here :D
await the surprise :DDDD

2009-06-29T17:47:00.000+08:00

life is so so so unexpected.
today was a shocking day.
ya changed seating arrangement.
omg can.
I had a dream that this person was going to be my term 3 seating partner.
In my dream, the seating arrangement was a hard copy and I was just looking at it.
So anyway I kind of forgot about that dream cos it happened a month ago.
Until today I got reminded of it just before helaoshi flashed the new seating plan.
And I was like "omg if my dream really comes true I'm going to freak out and scream."
(not a personal attack against anyone, just that I mean you'd freak out if your dream came true right? lol)
so I was covering my eyes with my tie.
Then helaoshi flashed the seating plan.
I was searching for my name and found it.
And, the name next to mine was exactly like that in my dream, only that now it was in soft copy instead of hard copy.
No, I didn't scream.
I was too stunned to do so.
For the remaining 15 minutes before school ended, I was just stoning and stunned, still not believing how deja vu it seemed.
very very scary.
It was only until the bell rang did I start freaking out and screaming to all my guides girls.
omg this is so freaky.
seriously.
imagine if you dreamt about somebody getting hit by a car and then a month later watching the scene play in front of your very eyes in real life.
that's how I felt.
O.O

well anyway I shall just try my best to adapt to my surroundings.
animals can do that, so why can't I? :D
Though I gotta warn my seating partner first.
I usually start out having the I-am-not-used-to-my-surroundings-so-I-will-dao-people symdrome.
LOL.
but I'll get used to it. I hope.
Just like how I did it with my first partner Zijun :D

(edited)
gosh I just realised I've got loads of other dreams that have to do with school life.
with dunmanians.
and I just got reminded of one dream today that happened around 2 weeks ago.
I remember I woke up from that dream feeling something.
The emotion felt so real.
So so real.
Yeah so how did I get reminded of that dream again?
Cos someone was saying (something something).
Then in my heart I was like, "gosh what if it's true?"
I dreamt of it, and now I'm hearing a 'confirmation' of some sort from someone.
honestly speaking, I don't know whether I want it to come true or not.
lol.
Part of me finds it interesting if it comes true.
Like it'd be shocking to the world, something unexpected.
and the experience would be quite cool, something I've never experienced before.
But another part thinks that I won't exactly be happy if it comes true.
cos I remember waking up from that dream with sweat all over me.
hmm...
dreams dreams dreams.
lol.

Sherly's dream is something like my above mentioned.
only that hers is much scarier and freakier if it comes true :X