The Ancients.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Had a talk during pc yesterday about STIs and such.
So scary omg.
super scary.
blood test this blood test that.
很麻烦啦, 干脆不要结婚.
not like I want anyway.
I don't want kids.
I want adopt! :D
I've got a burden for the kids in the orphanages.
Losing their parents at such a young, tender age.
I don't mind being a single mum in the future and raising one orphan up just like that.
just like my mum.
not that I'm an adopted orphan ._.
it's just that what she has been doing all the while is technically like raising a child single-handedly, for 8 years.
remember when I was 7, my 3rd aunt and 3rd uncle took me out and when I was supposed to be back home, they took me to this unknown house.
my new house.
aka my current house.
that was when I found out that my parents were on the verge of divorce.
so it's like separation.
and at first I didn't feel anything, didn't understand.
until one day my dad came to my school to look for me, asked me to pass some letter to my mum.
I begin to feel like abit in-between, though I was still kind of ignorant.
my mum told me that when I grew older, I would understand why she had done it then. (yes, I do now.)
after the divorce, despite knowing the difficulty of being a single mum (as seen on ch8 dramas), she took custody of me.
gosh if she hadn't, I would probably be living with a relative, or maybe even in an orphanage?
oh gosh.
the 3-4 years after that incident was kind of weird to adapt to.
I was abit envious whenever I saw my friends having their dads fetch them home from school, whenever I saw their 全家福 photos, and secretly I was hoping for my mum to remarry, searching for that 'father's love'.
I was hoping for that 'whole and perfect' family.
Then as I became abit older, I realised that all these didn't really matter much anymore.
Pretty used to it right now.
mum's love is enough(:
anyways today I had a good talk with my pretty shepherd.
Talked about alot of stuff.
yeah makes sense.
they do make sense!
(:
sometimes I wonder why is my road is the road less travelled.
and yet on the road less travelled, there are even more bumps and humps and rocks and dead logs and avalanches when you least expect it.
and worse, ERPs ._.
but.
called for a purpose.
so shut the insecurities out.
realised that my sentences are getting shorter and more abstract O.o
(10:04 PM)