The Ancients.
was searching online for qian bian questions for (an event that shall not be named).
came across something very O.o
crystabelle asked me to post it on my blog.
so I shall post it specially for her ._.
Qns: There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil
got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?
Ans: The one without the rubber
._.
I don't get it.
I think I'm too innocent already *smiles innocently*
too child-like.
(8:51 PM)
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Look back, be grateful that it had happened, giving you a chance to learn.
Look within, let go of the old and move on to something greater.
Look ahead, see God's power.
why compare?
We're not carbon copies of one another.
everyone's different.
chosen for different purposes.
what you are doing, is what only you can do.
oh my gosh today's sermon struck me like I-don't-know-how-to-say.
(9:25 PM)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Had a talk during pc yesterday about STIs and such.
So scary omg.
super scary.
blood test this blood test that.
很麻烦啦, 干脆不要结婚.
not like I want anyway.
I don't want kids.
I want adopt! :D
I've got a burden for the kids in the orphanages.
Losing their parents at such a young, tender age.
I don't mind being a single mum in the future and raising one orphan up just like that.
just like my mum.
not that I'm an adopted orphan ._.
it's just that what she has been doing all the while is technically like raising a child single-handedly, for 8 years.
remember when I was 7, my 3rd aunt and 3rd uncle took me out and when I was supposed to be back home, they took me to this unknown house.
my new house.
aka my current house.
that was when I found out that my parents were on the verge of divorce.
so it's like separation.
and at first I didn't feel anything, didn't understand.
until one day my dad came to my school to look for me, asked me to pass some letter to my mum.
I begin to feel like abit in-between, though I was still kind of ignorant.
my mum told me that when I grew older, I would understand why she had done it then. (yes, I do now.)
after the divorce, despite knowing the difficulty of being a single mum (as seen on ch8 dramas), she took custody of me.
gosh if she hadn't, I would probably be living with a relative, or maybe even in an orphanage?
oh gosh.
the 3-4 years after that incident was kind of weird to adapt to.
I was abit envious whenever I saw my friends having their dads fetch them home from school, whenever I saw their 全家福 photos, and secretly I was hoping for my mum to remarry, searching for that 'father's love'.
I was hoping for that 'whole and perfect' family.
Then as I became abit older, I realised that all these didn't really matter much anymore.
Pretty used to it right now.
mum's love is enough(:
anyways today I had a good talk with my pretty shepherd.
Talked about alot of stuff.
yeah makes sense.
they do make sense!
(:
sometimes I wonder why is my road is the road less travelled.
and yet on the road less travelled, there are even more bumps and humps and rocks and dead logs and avalanches when you least expect it.
and worse, ERPs ._.
but.
called for a purpose.
so shut the insecurities out.
realised that my sentences are getting shorter and more abstract O.o
(10:04 PM)
Hope you liked the apples.
hope you thought of the significance behind the apples while you munched lol.
Apples will change from yellow to red when they are ripe.
And become 有用的 apples which help to keep the doctor away.
I will patiently await the change(:
(9:50 PM)
this whole week I've been feeling super duper chui.
everything's been going down the sine curve.
look at my results.
I didn't fail terribly or what, but the thing is it's like one of the lowest in class.
you know that feeling when everyone is like super high and they get all excited in front of you.
At least failing with like 10 other people is better than being the only one who got 50% when the rest got like 70% and above ._.
Physics: 9/20
Bio: 16/30
those 2 were like my A+ subjects for sem 1.
probably the main problem was that I was not calm enough during the test.
I was super kan chiong.
for maths also.
cannot be like that anymore.
geog test and hcl yu wen ce yan next week ._.
ALOT of slides for geog.
and guess what.
this extra yu wen ce yan.
is only for a few classes.
and out of the few classes, we are the only class taking geog ._."
and aiyah I've been super buey song this week.
maybe cos of the I-don't-feel-valued feeling.
no one sees my efforts at all.
for anything.
in fact they even misunderstand.
eh why do I keep thinking negative ah?
maybe it's cos of all the emotions clogging up my mind.
went for combined service yesterday and was totally refreshed.
reminded at how to look at problems through the lens of faith.
and how to match them with deeds of faith.
Thank God for the refreshing service yesterday.
shall think more about it.
think positive but not impractical.
be a mod sin
ax graph, where
a is a positive real number.
even though there are ups and downs, but it'll not be negative.
jiayou!
(9:35 AM)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
leading the patrol you grew up in was never going to be easy.
it is a struggle with the emotional alley of your mind.
you tend to compare yourself to the seniors before you.
trying to imitate them so as to make the 'change' not so obvious and awkward and hard to adapt to.
and whenever you see your juniors, you can't help thinking, "oh how they resemble me." in some things they do and say.
or maybe even the way they walk, the way they laugh.
hah or maybe even the way they sms.
3 years in here and you have seen people change, people grow up, people mature.
and you feel so proud of them.
you see your direct juniors becoming seniors, and when they talk to their juniors, you can't help but think, "haha this line seems so familiar, think I've heard it from my seniors before."
and when you see your own yr1s and yr 2s, you can't help but think back on those days in 2007 when you were the yr1s, having your yr2s protecting you and all.
making your yr3s and yr4s laugh and -.- and O.o at the silly things you did together.
can't help but feel like reliving it again.
cliche and cliche, but time really flies.
"time telepots." - zhenling
I feel so old O.o
anyway I just wanna affirm some people.
thankyou for being such a great encouragement and support.
thankyou for being obedient.
thankyou for being responsible.
thankyou for being responsive.
you guys never fail to make my day.
thank God for peace.
(9:14 AM)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
it is time.
a risky enterprise.
well but it's for the better.
I hate to do this.
I seriously wished I never had to do this.
EVER.
but if I don't do it now.
it'll get worse.
and I don't want that to happen.
haiz cherisse just do it.
they will understand someday.
or maybe some of them already understand it now.
lol.
I don't know what will happen after this.
but it's the only way out.
they will understand someday.
don't worry(:
some things are just too dangerous.
too coincidental.
it's like the witches in macbeth positioning themselves so as to meet with Macbeth.
traps set by the devil.
oh no cherisse don't fall for them.
walk on the right path with God.
devil's stumbling people again :X
(8:21 PM)
haiya.
sometimes when all you need is a listening ear to whine to.
just to whine.
not to talk bad or gossip or what.
just to whine and let it all out.
and in the end the people whom you whine to say things like, "aiyah you're thinking too much."
or like, "aiyah it's just a small matter."
But you weren't even asking them to judge you or judge anyone.
just a listening ear to hear you whine it all out.
without passing any judgements.
is that so difficult to ask?
someone who understands...
I was searching for that the whole day.
thanks crystabelle.
(9:44 PM)
you plan to fail when you fail to plan.
how true.
so must plan(:
how come my posts are getting shorter and shorter O.o
(9:58 PM)
EDD yesterday was fun.
Did emcee-support for the first part.
Then went to station at the poster design classroom to help out.
Ran to and from the canteen to get food for people.
Then after that went back to the hall and poor sherly fell down the stairs ):
Ms Tang thought it was me who fell down lol.
Then was teasing sherly about (ahem) come and fetch her home hahahahahaha.
我没脸见人.
尤其是前三个人.
对自己失望.
为什么今年, 什么都变了?
难道一换到我们, 什么都会变?
was stunned on the spot.
heard something I'm sure zhenling jiawen jean had never heard before.
and something I hope me and the 接下来三个人, 几十几百个人 would never have to hear again.
but this must be resolved now and not emo-ed over.
heard about many other stuffs from others too.
but anyway all's not lost.
not yet.
We can fix it if we start fixing now(:
can de.
well then it's really time to get creative.
as quoted, trial and error.
jiayous!(:
(1:52 PM)
today I bueysong-ed my patrolmate.
wrote her a super lame post-it and asked shuqi to pass it to her.
threw eraser dust at her from my seat at the back of the class.
went off to change into pe attire without her.
then saw her at the canteen and dao-ed her.
sorry dear patrolmate.
thanks alot for kicking my ass.
lol.
(9:19 PM)
Thursday, August 13, 2009
aiyah today is a nice day luh.
the whole world seems to be against me today.
aiz nevermind.
physics was like (okay let's not talk about it cos already minus more than 10 marks so it's equals to fail)
HCL hmm abit no confidence of even passing with a C can.
got back maths trigo CT.
very shocking.
one of the biggest shock of my life with results.
cos results haven't really affected me that much these few months. (cos they're all expectedly bad, like you get the feeling when you know you're gonna fail)
note that my fail is the REAL fail.
not the (i-got-an-A-but-i-want-A+) kind of fail.
was expecting maybe a C for this maths CT or something.
and in the end...
......................................
(an error occured: results too shocking to be revealed for fear of triggering cardiac arrest)*******************************************************
anyways today was a hectic day.
collecting cookie order forms and money and collating and I was totally luan.
cos while I was counting and re-checking the stuff in class after morning assembly, helaoshi suddenly walked in and said, "class, please separate your tables" in chinese.
then I just chucked all that mess into my already messy file, hoping that they would clear the mess themselves.
super luan day.
music calms the most tired and anxious soul.
so does some talking and chatting.
edd prep tomorrow.
decor stuff.
actually decor is really fun(:
art calms the most tired and anxious soul too.
(9:41 PM)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
maybe all I really need to do now is talk.
not talk crap.
talk real stuff.
(9:54 PM)
National day celeb in school was totally cool yesterday.
Community singing was fun with 3J peeps and a few guides.
Class based activities were great too.
My group won!
haha.
and got 2 lollipops each.
had lunch with claire mich cryst at kfc.
cryst talk crap + nonsense + I don't know what.
she's liar liar pants on fire.
lol.
went to bugis to laminate poster with michelle.
something funny happened on the bus.
we just went in and started talking about pltc days and michelle was going on and on about he-who-must-not-be-named.
then after like 15 minutes, we realised liying was also in the bus.
haha michelle.
eb2b huddle was cosy and really a good time of family-ish fellowship with leow sam mich laura.
yeah haha.
going to singapore flyer with mum tomorrow to see fireworks :D
(9:14 PM)
There are times when I recall the past and wish to relive those times again.
Go back to the days when all I cared about was studies and how to level up as fast as possible in maple.
Back to when everything was so simple.
Not that I'm very complicated now lol.
Just less simpler than before.
Was talking to jess just now and was reminded of all those times in the old mount sinai campus, when cg venues were like at any random place we can find?
canteen. eds room. grandstand. even that bench outside container classroom.
eating popiah and walking to buona vista station together after cg.
that time when all I needed to do for cg was like maybe games or food?
well I knew that someday I had to do THIS, but at that time, my 'someday' was like at least 2-3 years later?
but God's plan was not my plan lol.
never knew it'd be in a year, so many things have changed.
compare august 2008 and 2009, totally different.
well jess and I agree that we have somehow lost our child-like faith.
the simpler things haha.
back when shepherding with leow was all about faith, commitment, etc.
now shepherdings with leow will never miss out the very important C-word and S-word.
Courage. Step out.
sometimes I wonder where would I be, what I'd be doing if not for all my chosen paths in life.
But behind those choices, there are reasons.
Many people believe that one's destiny is decided by God, however I believe that He has given each and every one of us a free will of choice to lead our life.
The road less travelled?
As jess said, true joy and true sorrow.
I totally agree with that mann.
So I must focus on the true joy rather than the true sorrow(:
though sometimes it's inevitable.
not like I'm always 100% positive all the time right.
We're transition elements, not postively charged metals.
Cos if we were postively charged metals, there'd be no such thing as emo and sadness.
lol too much chem liao.
just that our emotions shouldn't affect us too much.
cry and emo for an hour, but spend the next hour planning how to pick yourself up(:
(9:01 PM)
Tomorrow is National Day Celebration!
anyway I'm like super duper happy that week 6 tests are overrrrrrrr.
had a fun time decor-ing with guides for edd prep today(:
I like decor.
lol.
have been in decor for like more than 5 times and I always enjoy it :D
if I didn't join guides, I wouldn't have discovered the joy of decor-ing haha.
oh mann I still owe a lunch to crystabelle :X
shhhh don't tell her.
I shall ask algorithm to treat cryst the lunch :D
aiyah I shall heck care about tests already luh.
anyways sitting next to kimberly is fun cos can squish her bones before tests :D
haha bought some post-its today.
so that I can play with them.
and stick on people's foreheads and backs :D
anyway I'm gonna wear kezo class tee tomorrow!
cos it's red.
yay whole class wearing.
soon.
just soon.
just hang in there.
it'll be over.
soon.
(9:38 PM)
Interesting week ahead.
Test schedule:
Tues - Ace test + Jap test
Thurs - Chem test + Maths Test
got 63 for hcl lol.
not bad for my kind of standard.
jiayous for next time lor.
assembly today was interesting.
ironically, I can't wait to give my (insert suitable plural noun) to them.
haha.
anyway.
talked to sam about some cg stuff and we digressed ALOT ._.
lol.
Live everyday as a fun day and you'll be contented :D
(8:58 PM)
Presents from my beloved patrol.
in the message, zhenling and pearlyn called me "masheng that holds p6 together by bringing the juniors closer to us".
but I think they are yingshengs(:
the yingshengs that hold p6 together.
the yingshengs that support us on the shengqiao, strong and sturdy, never breaking under our weight.
the yingshengs that tie themselves super tight to a railing on a higher ground, letting us climb up to greater heights and never becoming loose.
the yingshengs that wrap around us tightly on the fireman's chair so that we can be pulled out of wherever we're being trapped in.
though the yingshengs are no longer ours physically, but in our hearts they will always be OUR yingshengs who have seen us through from the very beginning of guides.
yesterday claire and I were trying super hard to control our tears during the more emo performaces, cos as emcees, abit awkward if we suddenly break down ._.
but when zhenling pearlyn kimberley spoke, I just remembered everything I had gone through with them and p6, and couldn't control anymore luh.
how weird it'll feel without the sec4s.
maybe when one of my juniors ask a question, I would reply, "I think it's better for you to ask zhenling or pearlyn.", which is what I always do cos I scared later tell them wrong info ._.
and then suddenly I realise.
oh ya hor.
oh ya hor.
can't do that anymore ):
independence.
responsibility.
perseverance.
confidence.
okay sec3s let's jiayous!
no use wallowing in the leaving of our sources of reassurances.
we gotta move on.
can't live in emo-ness for too long.
though it might not be so easy to get used to immediately :X
(8:40 PM)
"This is the end already? So soon?""Nope, it's just the beginning. One door closes, and another opens."Had pdp yesterday.
somehow doesn't feel like the very first pdp I attended in 2007.
dont know leh, like kind of abrupt.
like "huh? finished already?" kind of feeling.
but well it was quite a nice time hanging out with p6 for dinner(:
I still don't feel quite used to seeing white colour stuff on my guides uni.
still feels so sudden.
can't set it in.
lol.
the concert was quite cool.
year1s had a very touching part 2(:
year2s sang 'you raise me up' and it was so sweet.
year3s had the bbyd kind of talk at the end of our performance!
wanted to put it as 'opening ceremony' at the beginning but due to overrun so ._.
but still had the bbyd thingy while we gave out the year4s' gifts.
wasn't it just like yesterday when we were writing cards to jiawen and jiajia?
wasn't it just like yesterday when zhenling and pearlyn just became our pl and ps?
wasn't it
really yesterday when I was still standing all the way at the back, in front of pearlyn, between xintian and eileen, and behind sally?
and in that same 1/2 hour I was suddenly standing in front of grace, between michelle and claire, and behind nobody.
in that same day the 8 of us plus sweeyee were suddenly doing what we have previously seen countless of times happen at the end of jihes.
the scene and sound of zhenling saying it was still in my head.
and I'm sure it would have been in the junior's heads too.
it just felt so sudden.
so fast.
it'll feel so weird to do this without the sec4s ):
exchanged gifts after break off.
thankyou to all!
so beautiful.
pics in the next post.
thankyou year4s for everything and we will miss you.
thankyou for believing in each and everyone of us.
and also to my patrol sec4s zhenling pearlyn and ex patrol sec4 kimberley, thank you for believing in p6(:
once and ixorian, forever an ixorian.
I knew this day would come, but I didn't know it would come and go so quickly.
(9:59 AM)
